Child Like Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Child Like

View 981 - 990 results for child like comic strips. Discover the best "Child Like" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pulls knife, #pleasure to meet, #psycho hillbilly, #crazy old coot, #network design engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

The psycho hillbilly raises his knife at Asok and says, "Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you." Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Asok says, "You look like a psycho hillbilly" The hillbilly replies, "Thank you very much." The hillbilly continues, "We network design engineers like to dress with a theme." Asok asks, "May I call you crazy old coot?"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day off, #move my home, #one hour, #negotiate, #can't use vehicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion dollars, #lose bid, #winning less work, #cost estimates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a coworker and says, "I need your cost estimates for my bid proposal." The coworker says, "A billion dollars." Dilbert responds, "That sounds high for administrative overhead." The coworker replies, "If you already know the cost, why ask me?" Dilbert says angrily, "You'll make us lose the bid." The coworker replies, "I like to think of it as winning less work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #not one of them, #project cancelled, #wonder, #zombie, #offer to walk, #boos, #fired, #let go, #shock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in front of The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Your project is cancelled. You'll be downsized in ninety days." The Boss continues, "Until then, feel free to wander around like a zombie." Dilbert walks past coworkers and thinks to himself, "I walk among them but I am not one of them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #server job, #abusive customer, #kindness, #tablecloth

View Transcript

Transcript

The manager is slapping a drunk. Dilbert says to her, "Hi. I came to apply for a server job." The manager replies, "Okay. Tell me how you would handle an abusive drunken customer like this guy." Dilbert replies, "Um.. with kindness?" The manager says, "You might want to shield yourself with a tablecloth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert as waiter, #hots on customer, #insults customer, #specials, #rude, #age

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is waiting on a table. He says to the customer, "I'll be your server tonight... Whoa, you're beautiful." Dilbert continues, "Would your grandfather mind if I asked you out?" The customer replies, "He's my husband." Dilbert turns to the older man and says, "Moving right along, would you like to hear about our specials?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demo, #good sale, #sales training, #see coming, #selling, #sucker, #victim, #wedgie, #gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Sales Training. The speaker points to a picture of an overly smiley man. He says, "Don't act like you're selling something." The speaker points to a picture of a man getting a wedgie. He says, "A good sale is like a good wedgie. Your victim shouldn't see it coming." The speaker continues, "For this next demonstration I need a volunteer who can't see what's coming." The man next to Dilbert raises his hand.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man without substance, #use buzzwords, #sell solutions, #not products

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, M.T. says, "Hi, I'm M.T. Suit. I'm a man without substance." Alice looks at him nervously. M.T. continues, "I compensate by using buzzwords and attending meetings." M.T. continues, "We need to sell solutions, not products!" The Boss thinks, "I like his style."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man hater, #angry women, #pantsuits, #turned on, #decisive, #supervisor

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice in charge, #drink coffee, #insulting, #man hating supervisor, #hates men, #picks on wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."