Company Phone Comic Strips - Page 99

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1000 Results for Company Phone

View 981 - 990 results for company phone comic strips. Discover the best "Company Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telephone, #concern, #death, #mistake, #product, #medical

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Dilbert says, "My boss just told me that he changed my drawings for the smart phone before he sent them to you for prototyping." Dilbert says, "I was wondering if you're having any problems with it?" Man says, "The camera's a bit aggressive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flash, #camera, #danger, #death, #injury, #medical

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Dilbert says, "The flash on our smart phone prototype is so strong that it's dangerous." The boss says, "I'd better show this to our CEO." Dilbert says, "Is that really a good idea?" Dogbert says, "Now pose with Ted so I can get a group shot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #confused, #battery, #stealing, #electricity, #revenge

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Dilbert says, "What's on your back?" Wally says, "It's a battery." Wally says, "I recharge it at work with company electricity, then I use it at night to power my home appliances." Wally says, "If they cut my benefits one more time, I'll make a play for their water too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection

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Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #admitting, #criminal, #offer, #bribery, #accepting

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Wally says, "This week I sold company secrets, did some insider trading, and took kickbacks from vendors." Wally says, "I'll give you a taste if you look the other way." Zip! Dilbert says, "That's unsettling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #auditor, #taxes, #inspection, #confused, #corruption

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Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #reading, #taxes, #audit, #ridiculous, #costume

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Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #rules, #ridiculous, #nervous, #shaking, #worried, #stupidity, #business

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The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

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The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Environment, #cups, #paper, #hot, #ridiculous, #animal, #shocked, #crazy

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The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."