Company Change Startegy Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Company Change Startegy
View 981 - 990 results for company change startegy comic strips. Discover the best "Company Change Startegy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 16,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #wide transformation, #compettetive, #solutions, #pay the most, #consultants, #recommendations
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.
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Saturday August 02,
2014
Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go
Transcript
Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.
Wednesday August 20,
2014
Tags #language, #lawyers, #simple business deal, #best work, #backyard
Transcript
Lawyer: I turned your simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement. It's some of my best work. I don't even understand it myself. Boss: Look what just landed in your backyard. Company Lawyer
Friday September 05,
2014
Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions
Transcript
CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?
Tuesday September 30,
2014
Tags #company culture, #culture, #hiring, #incompetence, #work culture, #good fit, #stigma, #cultural hires, #wishes, #rise above
Transcript
Larry: Hi, I'm Larry. I was hired because I'm a good cultural fit. I hope we can get past the stigma that cultural hires are incompetent. But I don't know how to do that. Alice: Maybe you could ask a competent person to help you.
Friday October 03,
2014
Tags #rehab, #work ethic, #workaholic, #laundry
Transcript
Wally: If I become a workaholic, will the company pay for rehab? Boss: What would workaholics rehab look like? Wally: I hope it involves getting paid while doing no work. Boss: That's what you do now. Wally: At rehab I think they do your laundry for you.
Saturday October 04,
2014
Tags #pretending, #rehab, #victim, #work ethic, #workaholic, #effect health, #dramatic, #blaming victim
Transcript
Wally: I'm pretending to be a workaholic so the company will pay for rehab. Waaaa!!! I am working too hard! It is starting to affect my health! Boss: That seemed a bit dramatic. Wally: Here we go with blaming the victim.
Sunday November 09,
2014
Tags #capitalism, #cruelty, #executives, #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #meat, #announcements, #artificial meat prodcut, #automated robots, #senior management, #manufacturing employees, #engineering
Transcript
CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?
Monday October 13,
2014
Tags #accessories, #busniess casual, #clothing, #dorks, #fashion, #new dress code, #powerless, #boring, #sexually irrelevant, #badeg, #asexual trespasser
Transcript
Dilbert: This is our new company dress code. We call it "Business Dorky." Dogbert: I like it because it makes you look powerless, boring, and sexually irrelevant. Dilbert: They make me wear this badge so I don't look like an asexual trespasser. Dogbert: Accessories make the outfit.
Friday February 13,
2015
Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate
Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization
Transcript
Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.