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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #progress, #policy, #promote from within, #better plans, #business

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Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #10 thousand hours, #genetic makeup, #laziness, #million hours, #become an expert

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Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

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Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #negotiating, #flexible, #loser, #good sport, #good loser

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Alice: Thanks for being flexible in these negotiations. You're a good sport. And by good sport, I mean good loser. ANd by good loser, I mean loser. Man: Some people call it generous.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #cruelty, #thinking, #thought diversity, #meeting, #fad, #business

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Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #obliviousness, #thinking, #perspectives, #benefits, #thought diveristy, #all idiots

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Boss: I hired people who have different perspectives so we could enjoy the benefits of thought diversity. But they disagree with everything I say, so I have to assume they're all idiots. Am I right? Catbert: Totally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #rich people, #wages, #ceo lifestyle, #yacht, #penthouse, #estate, #priceless art, #million dollar watch, #money

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Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #optimism, #positive influences, #bad energy

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Asok: Experts say I should surround myself with people who are positive influences. Alice: I'M ON A CALL! Asok: I think I absorbed some bad energy. Wally: Go away before you bum me out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #television news, #act like idiots, #mirror, #details in mirror

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Dogbert: In today's news, people all over the world continued to act like idiots. Most of the time it didn't turn out well. For details, look in your mirror.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #dieting & weight control, #muffins

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Alice: I brought you some muffins so I won't need to watch my weight. If I fatten up the people around me, I'll look good even if I gain a few pounds. Dilbert: Won't that make you look mean? Alice: In phase two, I'll also make you angrier than me.