Does Something Good Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Does Something Good

View 981 - 990 results for does something good comic strips. Discover the best "Does Something Good" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information technolofy, #define, #materials, #enthusiasm with stupidity, #meeting, #presentation, #long, #lengthy, #boring, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "I'd like to spend the first hour defining what "information technology" means." Asok raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! Can I help pass ou the materials?" Dilbert and Wally both look at Asok. Wally says, "It's not a good idea to mix enthusiasm with stupidty, Asok." Asok says, "Oh, sorry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management guide, #work, #bright enough, #decions, #randomness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table with the boss. Dogbert wears a turban. Dogbert says, "You must use the stars as your management guide." The boss says, "Does that work?" The boss says, "If you believe it works, then you're not bright enough to make your own decisions anyway." Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert says, "So randomness is probably an improvement." The boss says, "Q.E.D."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new bonus plan, #peak perfromance, #bonus, #goods mine, #car won't start

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Asok, Dilbert and wally sit at a conference table. The boss says, "Introducing the new bonus plan." ASok raises his hand and says, "Yes!!! I'm already working at peak performance, so that bonus is as good as mine!" Phil appears behind asok and says, "Asok, Mr. Reality wanted to visit you, but his car won't start. I'm Phil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer manufacturer, #threats, #to kill, #freeze up, #supportive police

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom opens her door to two policemen holding guns. Cop one says, "We have a report that you threatened to kill a computer manufacturer." Dilbert's mom pionts to the computer and says, "It freezes up five times a day. I have to unplug it to turn it off." The cops put down their guns. Cop 1 says, "Okay, we're with you. When's it going down?" Dilmom says, "Is tuesday good?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pick up phone, #calling and calling, #fist of death, #gnawed, #wall to escape

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clip on ear, #hurts, #double check, #called pager, #on ear

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss stands behind Wally who sits at his computer. The boss has his pager clipped to his ear and says, "Wally, are you sure this kind of pager is supposed to clip on my ear?" The boss says, "It hurts. Maybe you can call someone to double-check." Wally says, "Good idea." and dials a number. The boss flinches in pain as his pager buzzes. Wally says, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attached tracking device, #compromise, #spy satellite, #radio network, #next weekend, #date tried to run, #nod once

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert takes his coat off at home. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "My date tried to run away, but I attached a tracking device to her coat." Dilbert holds a microphone and site by his computer. Dilbert says, "Now I'll just compromise a spy satellite and a radio network." Dilbert's date lies in bed at her house. Her radio says, "....So id next weekend is good, nod once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #story ever end, #purchase silence, #fist of death, #two warning system

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #training classes, #skilled, #better job, #secret untraining method, #hammer, #head, #hit on head

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Catbert looks into Asok's cubicle. Catbert says, "Asok, you have taken too many training classes." Asok says, "Too many?" Catbert says, "You're too skilled now. There's a risk you'll leave for a better job." Asok stands blind folded. Catbert holds a huge hammer above his head. Asok says, "Does the "secret untraining method' work every time?" Catbert says, "I've never tried it before."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internal email, #use integration, #leverage, #communication, #perjury

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: can you explain the meaning of this internal email message? Dilbert: It says we'll "Use integration tools to leverage the utility of our enterprise- wide processes. Dilbert: It appears to be something we call communication. Lawyer: Perjury!