Dogbert Job Comic Strips - Page 99

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1000 Results for Dogbert Job

View 981 - 990 results for dogbert job comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the ceo, #stock price, #personal gain, #budget cuts, #products, #relevant

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at head of table surrounded by workers. Dogbert says, "I've decided to manipulate our stock price for personal gain." Dogbert continues, "I'll spin off a few divisions, buy back some of our stock and announce massive budget cuts." Worker asks Dogbert, "Um...do you even know what products we make?" Dogbert replies, "How would that be relevant?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the ceo, #incestment banker, #loot place, #merge with client, #golden parachute, #exercise stock options, #merger, #so long suckers

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at desk. An investment banker stands across from him. Banker says, "I'm an investment banker. I can help you loot this place and escape." Banker sits next to Dogbert and reviews some material with him. Banker says, "You'll maerge with my other client company. Your golden parachute kicks in. Then you exercise your stock options on the uptick." Alice and Dilbert review merger announcement. Alice says, "You rarely see a merger announcement with the phrase, 'So long suckers.'" Dilbert softly says, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #con people, #insult people, #consult, #expensive, #demeaning

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Dogbert sits on a rock in the middle of a field. Dogbert thinks, "I like to con people. And I like to insult people." Dogbert thinks, "If you combine con and insult, you get "consult." Dogbert stands on the boss' desk. Dogbert says, "I'm here to consult you." The Boss says, "It sounds expensive and demeaning...okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #recommendations, #analyis, #us dollars, #elbonian currency, #eye crud

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Caption: Dogbert Consults Dogbert and the boss sit at a desk. Dogbert is in the boss' chair. Dogbert says, "My recommendations are based on an analysis of accountability." The boss says, "Ohh." Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm not accountable to your stockholders. So I can recommend anything that amuses me." Dogbert says, "I recommend that you convert all of your U.S. dollars to elbonian currency... whatever that is." The boss says, "The eyecrud."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #remember name, #buddy, #big guy, #name tag

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Dilbert sits on the couch reading a book. Dogbert sits facing Dilbert. Dogbert says, "I'm finding it a burden to remember your name." Dogbert says, "From now on, I'll refer to you as either "buddy" or "big guy".' Dilbert says, "How about if I get a name tag? Then you could just read it." Dogbert says, "Do I look like I have that kind of time?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #couch, #living room, #conversation, #gaps in conversation, #fill in gaps, #random

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Ratbert and Dogbert are on the couch. Dogbert holds a remote control and leans against a cushion. Ratbert says, "Do you mind if I fill the gaps in our conversation with random observations?" Dogbert says, "No." Ratbert says, "So, you got a little pillow there, eh? Eh?" Ratbert says, "When I say, "Eh?", that's your cue to answer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #snoring, #bed, #use both nostrils, #enjoy yelling

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Dilbert lies in bed, under the covers. Dogbert stands on Dilbert's stomach. Dogbert says, "I can no longer hold this inside." Dogbert says, "You call that breathing??! Get the other nostril involved!" Dogbert walks away. Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if he'll ever realize that I just enjoy yelling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #brain wash customoers, #long term goal, #train customers, #mail money, #advertsiements, #send them product

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Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on chair facing the Boss who sits behind his desk. Dogbert says, "You must brainwash your customers to prefer your brand for no reason." Dogbert says, "The long-term goal is to train your customers to mail you money every time they see your advertisements." The Boss says, "Would we send them our product?" Dogbert says, "Hello-o-o, brain stem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #ad campign, #tony sincereity, #introdcue prodcut, #invisible robot, #empty box

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Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert sits at the conference table with Alice and Dilbert. Dogbert says, "Our ad campaign featuring phony sincerity is working." Dogberts hands Alice and Dilbert pieces of paper. Dogbert says, "In phase two, we'll introduce our newest product, the invisible robot." Alice says, "We don't know how to make an invisible robot." Dogbert says, "Do you know how to make an empty box?"