Search Results for "doing good work"

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No Good Ideas In Decades

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No Good Ideas In Decades - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #candid, #ageism, #conversation, #speaking, #talking

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Man: May I make a suggestion? Dilbert: Sure. Do you mind if I only pretend to listen because you haven't had a good idea in several decades? Man: That's fine. I was only looking forward to the part where I'm talking. Dilbert: Proceed.

Customers Work For Free

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Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness

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Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Boss Comes To Work Sick

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Boss Comes To Work Sick  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days, #medical

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Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

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Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

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Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

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Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

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Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Hard Work Is The Key To Success

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Hard Work Is The Key To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #manager, #self-interest, #motivation

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Asok: What is the key to success? Boss: Hard work! Asok: Is it a coincidence that your advice for me corresponds to your self-interest? Boss: My other advice is never question authority.

Lying To Weasels

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Lying To Weasels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sayings, #Advice, #honesty, #truthfulness

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Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?

Might Reorganize

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Might Reorganize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #responsibility, #work ethic, #reorganization, #merger, #laziness

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Wally: Are you still considering a reorganization of the department? Boss: Maybe. Wally: Oh, good. I was worried I might be held accountable for my lack of accomplishments. Boss: I might be playing this wrong. Wally: Hey, everyone! We're free!

Dilbert And Monkeys

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Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

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Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.