Doing Less Work Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Doing Less Work

View 981 - 990 results for doing less work comic strips. Discover the best "Doing Less Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #dog, #rat, #phone call, #customer, #question, #compensate tiny brain, #to busy, #play dead, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "Please wait while I consult with somebody who has your exact same problem." Ratbert sits in the chair next to Dogbert. Dogbert asks him, "How do you compensate for a tiny brain, Ratbert?" Ratbert answers, "I just say I'm way too busy to learn. Then I get somebody else to do my work." Dilbert says into the phone, "I'm going to transfer you to an expert." Ratbert says, "Sometimes I pretend to be dead."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #three menu, #read a memo

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "So . . . There are three menu choices and the first two didn't work . . ." Dogbert's continues, "Some people would have recklessly tried the third choice before calling for help. But I can tell you're different." Dogbert continues, "Let's be honest with ourselves, Dave. Do you think anybody is going to read a memo from you?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #more work, #same tiny raises, #clever shift, #management philosophy, #simple application, #annoy, #effect pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "I accomplished twice as much as Wally this year, but we got exactly the same tiny raises." Dilbert says, "I'm wondering if this is a clever shift in management philosophy or a simple application of your ignorance?" The boss says, "You're starting to annoy me." Dilbert replies, "And that would affect my pay how?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert venture capitalist, #invest 5 million, #agree, #standard conditions, #chairman of board, #mow lawn, #wash car, #touch bargainer, #multimedia developers, #gardening needs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at his desk and a businessman sits across from him. Reading from a document, Dogbert says, "I'll invest up to five million dollars if you'll agree to some standard conditions." Dogbert continues, "I will be chairman of the board and own 99% of the company. You will work for free and wash my car twice a week." The businessman asks, "Can I mow your lawn instead of washing your car?" Dogbert answers, "You're a tough bargainer, but I prefer multimedia developers for my gardening needs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dark side, #engineering, #technical knowledge, #generlaist, #easy path, #suite, #applications, #unnatural

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil stands behind Dilbert's desk and waves his hand and his spoon. Phil says, "Come to the dark side, Dilbert. Renounce engineering and become a manager." Dilbert says angrily, "NEVER!" Looking over Dilbert's shoulder, Phil says, "Your technical knowledge is getting stale. You're becoming a generalist . . . take the easy path." Phil is holding a set of software boxes. He says to Dilbert, "I brought you a suite of applications that ll work together." Dilbert yells, "THAT'S UNNATURAL!!! BE GONE!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bad news, #no raises, #making worse, #own reward, #rewarded, #twice as much

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption reads, "Bad news." The Boss sits at his desk saying, "We're not giving any raises." The captions reads, "Making it worse." The Boss says, "But we think work is its own reward." The caption reads, "Making it MUCH worse." The Boss says, "Expect to get rewarded about twice as much next year."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #perfromance appraisel, #four years, #starting documentation, #fire me later, #24 hours aday, #motivational

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "Alice, I'm almost done with your performance appraisal." Alice looks horrified and gasps. Alice turns her chair to face the Boss and says, "I haven't had an appraisal in four years. You must be starting a documentation trail so you can fire me later." Alice types wildly and yells, "I'LL WORK 24 HOURS A DAY!!" The Boss thinks, "That was way more motivational than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #singular achievement award, #we are teams, #check, #campiagn, #one thousand dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands a check to Ted while Wally, Dilbert and Alice watch. The Boss says, "And Ted gets this 'Singular Achievement' award for creating the 'We Are Teams' campaign." The Boss continues, "It's a check for a thousand dollars! Let's all give Ted a hand." Ted walks by holding the check and Wally, Alice and Dilbert look angry. As Wally, Alice and Dilbert hit and slap Ted the Boss thinks, "These things never work the way you want them to."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #managers, #another closed door, #meeting, #pay cuts, #layoffs, #resume, #leadership vsion, #inspire employees, #action, #upgardes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and a woman walk by Dilbert's cubicle holding folders. Leaning back in his chair to look out of the cubicle, Dilbert thinks, "Uh-Oh . . . the managers are going to another closed-door meeting." Dilbert thinks, "It must be about pay cuts or layoffs. I'm doomed. I'd better work on my resume NOW." He pulls nervously at his tie, his hair stands on end and beads of sweat fly from his forehead. The Boss sits around a conference table with three other managers. Reading from a document, he says, "Okay, so far our 'leadership vision' says 'we inspire employees to action.' Does anybody have upgrades?" Another man responds, "Nah."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #destroying prodcutivity, #hire contract employees, #constractors, #humilaition

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the Boss's desk. Dilbert and Alice stand in front of him. Dilbert says, "The rumors are destroying our productivity. We can't work with all this uncertainty." Dogbert answers, "I plan to buy proven technology and hire contract employees. You'll be gophers for the contractors until you resign in disgust and humiliation." Dilbert and Alice look scared. Dilbert asks, "Is there any way to get back to uncertainty?" Dogbert answers, "I'll see what I can do."