Dont Understand Comic Strips - Page 99

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #the motivation fairy, #greatest challenge, #get paid less, #minimum wage, #reimburse, #travle, #career path

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THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Motivation Fairy, hovering in the air behind Wally, says "You will be my greatest challenge." Wally turns to the Motivation Fairy and says, "I'll bet you get paid less than minimum wage and they don't reimburse you for travel." The Fairy drops the magic wand and says, "Wings... So... Heavy..." Wally asks, "So, what kind of career path you got going?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #brokerage firm, #discount, #lowest commissions, #customers, #keeping records

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Dogbert and Dilbert are sitting on a sofa. Dilbert is snacking on a bag of chips. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a discount brokerage firm." Dilbert chews as Dogbert says, "I'll offer my lowest commissions to customers who don't mind bad advice and verbal abuse." Dogbert says, "Did I mention that I won't be keeping any records?" Dilbert says, "You didn't need to."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #open an account, #money eveaporates, #photo synthesis, #yes haw

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert says to a prospective customer, "You can only open an account if you meet my stringent requirements." Dogbert says, "True or false: Money evaporates because of photo-synthesis." The prospective customer replies, "True?" Dogbert says, "You're in." The customer thinks, "Don't yell yee-haw!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #free investment, #money, #paid for advice

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #deadlines, #finish on time, #forty hours, #good news, #bad news, #boss, #Dilbert

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Dilbert sits at his computer as The Boss says, "Good news: The deadline got pushed back a week." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Good news?! I've been working for forty hours straight to finish on time!" The Boss thinks, "I just realized I don't know the difference between good news and bad news."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #positive reinforcement, #addicted, #wearing off, #crazy woman, #drool, #lunch room, #boss words

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I experienced something called positive reinforcement today." Alice continues, "I'm addicted to it now... But it's wearing off... Must get more..." Alice says, "Say something nice about me!" Dilbert chews his lunch as Wally says, "For a crazy woman you don't drool much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #afraid of change, #operation, #someone listened to you, #gender change, #move to china

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Wally and a male co-worker are listening to The Boss. The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change." The Boss listens as the male co-worker stands up and says, "You're right! I'm going to get a gender change operation and move to China!" Wally says to The Boss, "I've always wondered what would happen if someone listened to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #no opinion, #spineless, #Opinion, #unnecessary pain, #cry in public

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Dilbert and a woman are sitting at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "You don't give your opinion on anything. Are you spineless?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you create an environment in which giving an opinion is an invitation to unnecessary pain." The woman exclaims to Dilbert, "Great! You're making me cry in public!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discovered oil, #wild life perserve, #elbonian, #endangered species, #no impact, #drilled unicorn, #dead, #animals, #drill fields

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The Boss: we've discovered oil in the Elbonian wild life preserve. DOnt worry about the endangered species. Our drilling will have no impact. ELbonian: oops