Generated Unnecessary Work Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for generated unnecessary work comic strips. Discover the best "Generated Unnecessary Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #clone of boss, #procedure failure, #knick knack, #small creature, #part horse, #part human, #tiney, #antennas

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A tiny centaur is standing on a table. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a clone of your boss?" Dilbert responds, "The procedure didn't exactly work. So you're not so much a human being as you are a..." Centaur, "God?" Dilbert responds, "Knickknack."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #become teacher, #educate leaders, #educate the morons, #stop beliveing, #eat the sdonut, #dreams, #crush

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Dilbert and Dogbert are eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe I should become a teacher so I can educate the leaders of tomorrow." Dogbert responds, "Maybe you should educate the morons of tomorrow so they'll stop believing the leaders of tomorrow." Dilbert replies, "Maybe I'll just eat this donut and go to work." Dogbert asks, "Do you have more dreams I can crush?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #assistant recovers, #cold or flu, #should dissolved, #winged demon, #business

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The Boss says to Asok, "Asok, I want you to work for the evil director of human resources until his assistant recovers." Asok replies, "From what is he recovering? Is it a cold or perhaps a flu?" The Boss responds, "He saw so much evil that his soul dissolved and he became a winged demon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #project, #huge hourly rate, #specified

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I've reduced our development costs by outsourcing the project." Dilbert responds, "Does the proposal have a huge hourly rate for any work not specified in the contract?" The Boss replies, "Why do you ask?" Wally thinks, "Stay out of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #daily prayer services, #blood, #bain washing, #ambitious plans

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A man with a wizard suit, holding an animal-headed staff says to The Boss, "I'd like permission to hold daily prayer services in a conference room." The man continues, "I'll do it before work and of course I'll clean up any blood." The man continues, "So far I'm the only member of my religion but I have ambitious plans for brainwashing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss, #errors, #flatter yourself, #forward to friends, #idiot boss, #spelling, #mass email

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The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #email, #employees, #leave too early, #menacing pose, #more cars in lot, #own email, #parking lot, #business

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Dorie's Boss says to Dorie, "Dorie, send an e-mail: employees are leaving work too early." Dorie's Boss continues, "I was to see more cars in the parking lot after 6 p.m. otherwise, heads will roll!" Dorie responds, "You type your own e-mail." The Boss replies, "I can't do that AND do this menacing pose at the same time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #top engineers, #competetors, #firing, #get rid of, #updating resume, #goes as planned, #hideous disese, #felt useuful, #threatening employment

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Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #copier repair guy, #egg carton, #fierce paper jam, #flirting, #good looking, #joy

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Carol says on the telephone, "Send a copier repair guy. And make sure he's good-looking." Carol continues, "Because I live in a big tin can and I work in an egg carton. Flirting is the only joy I have." Carol continues, "Nothing's wrong with the copier yet, but I feel a fierce paper jam coming on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #job, #department, #manager, #pretend job useful, #business

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um.. you gave me an assignment that isn't my job and doesn't need to be done." The Boss replies, "I'm trying to take over another department by doing their work. Later I'll say their manager should report to me." Dilbert says, "Could we at least pretend my job is useful?" The Boss replies, "Don't I always?"