Good Reasons Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for good reasons comic strips. Discover the best "Good Reasons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Day Of Arranging Zeroes And Ones

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Day Of Arranging Zeroes And Ones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anti-social, communication, engineers, happiness, interaction, introvert, social interaction, socializing, psychology

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Dilbert: Yay! I have another full day of doing nothing but rearranging zeros and ones. You know it will be a good day when there is no human interaction on the schedule. Tina: How's your day going? Dilbert: Well, it started good...

Technical Analysis

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Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, stock market, stocks, squirrel sitting, clown shoulder, technical analysis, money

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Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

Ceo Agrees To Mentor Wally

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Ceo Agrees To Mentor Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, mentor, mentors, mentoring, protege, power

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Wally: Will you be my mentor? CEO: Yes I will! You are wise to ask because it shows you have the drive to succeed. Wally: Exactly! Boss: Give me one good reason I shouldn't fire you. Wally: My mentor is your boss.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, form, function, product design, product designer, selfishness, portfolio

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

Ceo Understands Wally

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Ceo Understands Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy

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Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, excuse, leadership, Promotion, promote

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Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Try Leaning In

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Try Leaning In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, Advice, bad advice, careers, Promotion, success, business

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Tina: I feel as if my career has stalled. Dilbert: Have you tried leaning-in? I hear good things about that. Tina: How do you sound helpful and offensive at the same time? Dilbert: Some say I have a gift.

Living Under A Bridge

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Living Under A Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags debt, student loans, loans, salary, universities & colleges, money, wages

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Boss: I can offer you a starting salary of $34,000 per year. Man: My student loan debt is $200,000. I would have to live under a bridge and forage for food. Boss: Our bridges have good reputations. Man: I heard the same thing about my college.

How Alice Can Disagree

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How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Opinion, argument, disagreement, open-minded, dissenting opinion, sincerity

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Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

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Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags replication, technology, clone, playing god, doppelganger

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Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.