Happy New Year Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for happy new year comic strips. Discover the best "Happy New Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee cup, #lovely mug, #difference, #cash equivalent, #mug

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The boss holds a cup and says, "Every emplyee gets a lovely mug with our new motto, "I mad a differernce:=." Dilbert sits between Alice and Wally and says, "Question: May I have the cash equivalent of the mug instead?" The boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "May I have a mug that says, "I didn't make a differance"?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet business idea, #sent idea, #five companies, #space

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The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours, #business

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The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #broke into system, #corporate startegy, #post it, #internet, #email address, #technology

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The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great turnaround ceo, #turn around, #head in hand

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Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turnaround ceo, #value based, #management, #perspective, #training dept, #exceeds cost

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A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idiots, #i quit, #higher paying job, #miles away, #adios, #web designer, #hear your idiots, #ethernet

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Dilbert, the boss and a male employee are sitting at a table. The employee who has a lap-top in front of him says: "You're all idiots. I quit!" The male employee is typing on his lap-top and says: "There ... I found a higher paying job two miles away. Adios, suckers." A female employee standing between Dilbert and the boss says: "I'm the new web designer. I hear you're idiots. Where's the ethernet jack?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #various sponcers, #pay for eyeballs, #link to us, #owe ourselves, #billion dollars, #technology

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Dilbert, Ming,the new web employee, and the boss are sitting at a table. Ming has a sheet of paper on the table. Ming says: "I linked our web site to various sponsors who pay us for eyeballs." Ming says:"Those sponsors link to other web sites who link to us." Ming says to the boss:"The net-net at the end of the day is we owe ourselves a billion dollars." The boss thinks: "eyeballs?", while expressing disgust.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."