Hard Working Employee Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Hard Working Employee

View 981 - 990 results for hard working employee comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Working Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #alienation, #deception, #strategy, #toxic, #toxic relationship, #work ethic, #useless, #ambitous, #meetings, #incomplete information, #anxious, #hateful

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm already useless, but I'm thinking about becoming toxic as well. Dilbert: That seems ambitious for you. Wally: Think it through. As a useless person, I still get invited to meetings because I don't cause much trouble. But if I go full-toxic, no one will invite me to meetings in the first place. I can avoid a lot of work by nipping it in the bud. Dilbert: Is it hard to be toxic? How do you do it? Wally: It's easy. All you do is provide incomplete information that makes people anxious and hateful. I can't tell you what was said in that last meeting, but I defended you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #design, #evil, #frustration, #product designer, #torture, #hate people, #styrofoam debris, #invisible buttons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I decided to become a product designer because I hate people. I will fill every package with styrofoam debris and affix hard-to-remove stickers all over the cases. I'll make the buttons invisible by making them black on a black surface. Ha ha ha! Dilbert: I've always wondered how this stuff happens.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #distractions, #frustration, #futility, #meeting, #meetings, #stress, #walk, #walking, #phone calls, #email, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Wally Is Ceo's Pet

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Ceo's Pet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad influence, #mentoring, #mentor, #protege, #laziness, #work ethic, #changes

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: How's it feel to be the CEO's pet employee? Wally: We call it mentoring. Alice: Has it changed you? Wally: No, but he seems more useless lately. Alice: I guess there's no backflow preventer on mentoring.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #praise, #admiration, #anger, #compliments

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What do you want now? Dilbert: Experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire and be generous with praise. Alice, I admire your hard work and intellect. Alice: Stop it! This is creepy! Dilbert: I admire your focus and your determination. Alice: Gaaa!!! Stop admiring me! My skin is crawling! Dilbert: I admire your honesty! Alice: Blech! Wally: Do you feel more like a leader now? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that people hate me.

Embellishing Resumes

Thank you for voting.
Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #resume, #lying, #deception, #accomplishments, #management, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.

Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy

Thank you for voting.
 Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #thinking, #coffee, #mug, #trophy, #award, #inspiration

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We need new ideas. I shall drink deeply from my "Employee of the Year" trophy. Mmm... coffee. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Alice: Got any new ideas? Wally: Ambidextrous coffee mug!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.