Hired Useless Man Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Hired Useless Man
View 981 - 990 results for hired useless man comic strips. Discover the best "Hired Useless Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 12,
2004
Tags tainted research, skinny people, bright light, association of donught makers, wheel chair, man in bandages
Transcript
"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research." "The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven." "Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?" "No, why?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday April 14,
2004
Tags tainted research, media, clebrities, blood, environmental issues, humor, larry david, hybrid car, Entertainment
Transcript
Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."
Thursday May 20,
2004
Tags stupidity, at eork, anti stupid gun, annihilates stupid part, rest intect, read directions
Transcript
Dilbert: There seems to be more stupidity than usual at work. Garbageman: Borrow my antisyupidius gun. It annihilates the stupid part of a person and leaves the rest intact. Dilbert: Cool Dilbert: I should have read the directions more carefully,
Monday June 07,
2004
Tags prima donna, indeispensable, being obnoxious, undermining authority, pants optional zone
Transcript
"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."
Monday June 14,
2004
Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest
Transcript
I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!
Thursday June 17,
2004
Tags wave, say bah, its been nice talking, dog, man, animals
Transcript
"When you ask me questions, I usually wave my hand and say, 'Bah!'" "But from now on, I'll say 'why do you want to know?' And then I'll say, 'Bah!' over your answer." "How often do you hear the phrase 'It's been nice talking to you?'" "Not so much."
Saturday June 26,
2004
Tags low pay, unpleasant work enviornment, applicants, miss old days, dental plan
Transcript
The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!
Friday July 02,
2004
Tags signal meeting end, take hint, all gone
Transcript
Dilbert: "I'll arrange my papers to signal that I want this meeting to end." "Tap tap tap" "C'mon, take a hint!" Man: "So, as I was saying..." "Tap tap tap" Dilbert: "The man would not take a hint." Dogbert: "I said it's all gone!"
Monday August 16,
2004
Tags meeting, improve communication, imitates boss, business
Transcript
Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.
Monday August 23,
2004
Tags meeting, team assignments, mprotant things, ruined meeting, clueless nimrods, business
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I've been told that you ignore your team's assignments and work on things that aren't your job." Alice: "That's true. I do important things instead of useless things assigned by clueless nimrods." The Boss: "You totally ruined this meeting."