How To Do Your Job Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To Do Your Job

View 981 - 990 results for how to do your job comic strips. Discover the best "How To Do Your Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags iso 9000 certified, product looks good, internal porcess, well documented, documented porcess, ace, double price

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "Your product looks good, but you can't be our supplier unless your company is ISO 9000 certified." The Boss asks, "So . . . You don't care how bad our internal processes are, as long as they're well-documented and used consistently?" The man replies, "That's right." The Boss says, "Our documented process says I must now laugh in your face and double our price."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trade hsow, Dogbert, design, deluxe booth, more revenue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "If you plan to have a booth at the trade show, you need the 'Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company' to design it." Dogbert continues, "I recommend the deluxe booth. It's guaranteed to generate the most revenue." Alice asks, "How would the deluxe booth generate more revenue for my company?" Dogbert says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOUR company?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cartoonits, goat herder, good points, newbie identity, technology, technology bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert types, "On the surface, you seem to make some good points about technology . . ." Dilbert types, "But your e-mail address reveals your newbie identity. You're probably a goat herder or a cartoonist." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "How does it feel to be an elitist technology bigot?" Dilbert says, "I prefer to think of myself as a technology 'have.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catbert evil hr director, random acts, catness, ink suit, appproaching, purring, shedding, curl and style

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert walks down the hall thinking, "I feel like committing random acts of catness." Catbert holds out his paws and thinks, "Woman in pink suit approaching . . . Activate purring and shedding." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "So, Alice, how long does it take to curl and style a suit like that?" Wally asks, "Do you dry-clean it or just give it a perm?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, like about work, making popcorn, microwave, pretend tow ork, body language, popcorn priviledges

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits at his desk. Catbert says, "Hey, Wally, is there anything you still like about working here?" Wally replies, "Um . . . I like making popcorn in the microwave and eating it while I pretend to work." Wally says, "Your body language tells me that something evil is going to happen to my popcorn privileges." Catbert sits on the monitor and thinks, "I love my job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new sex symbols, online personals, tech prowness, moonlit walks, must like to dance, applicants

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols. Your online personals ad should emphasize your technical prowess." Dilbert asks, "How about 'Looking for woman who likes moonlit walks so I'll have more time alone with my computer'?" Dilbert continues, "And 'Must like to dance.' That's so I won't get a flabby, uncoordinated applicant." Dogbert says, "Don't call them 'applicants' on the first date."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brian, work for comapny, job interview, practice interview, done here, lunch time, don't see sandwhiches

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a man sit at a table. Dilbert says, "So tell me . . . Brian . . . Why do you want to work for this company?" The man replies, "Well, to be honest, I don't. I'm using this as a practice interview." Dilbert says, "I guess we're done here." Brian looks at his watch and says, "Hello-o-o!!! It's lunch time and I don't see sandwiches."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new smoking habit, teeth turned yellow, social outcast, going broke, house burned down, going to quit, long term view

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks Wally, "How do you like your new smoking habit?" Wally replies, "My teeth turned yellow, my breath is putrid, I'm a social outcast, I'm going broke, and my house burned down." Alice asks, "So you're going to quit?" Wally replies, "No, I'm trying to take a long term view of it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags school for interpersonal skills, Dogbert, good relationships, huge phony, three fundamentals, loud, simple, smiley, low pressure system, weather

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at the front of a room and says, "The secret to good relationships is to be a huge phony." Dilbert and Wally sit in the class. Dogbert clicks a remote control and says, "Let's practice the three fundamentals." A slide projection lists, "Loud, Simple, Smiley." Wally shouts, "Hey, how about that low-pressure system, huh?!!" Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "Again, but this time say 'weather.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags direct flight, aisle seat, upgrade, first class, overhead bin, north korea, non smoking, anti aircraft fire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I'd like a direct flight . . . Aisle seat . . . And an upgrade to first class if possible." The airline ticket agent replies, "The best I can do is to put you in an overhead luggage bin . . . With one stop in North Korea." Dilbert asks, "Is it non-smoking?" The ticket salesperson replies, "That depends on how accurate the anti-aircraft fire is."