How To Program Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for How To Program
View 981 - 990 results for how to program comic strips. Discover the best "How To Program" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 17,
2005
Transcript
"I didn't think it was possible, but for the past month I've done my own job plus Ted's, and done them well." "I know that you're marveling at my accomplishment and wondering how you can reward me." "Maybe I can fire Carl and make this idiot do his job too." "I'll be we're thinking of the same bonus amount!"
Friday September 23,
2005
Monday October 10,
2005
Tags #our annual report, #positive spin, #poor results, #stock plummenting, #can't afford us
Transcript
"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."
Tuesday October 18,
2005
Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam
Transcript
Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"
Friday October 21,
2005
Tags #dinasaur, #body gurad, #carrot stick, #nap time, #dumb dino, #momentary
Transcript
"Bob, my boss might be planning to kill me. Would you be my bodyguard?" "I can't because I'm all busy eating a carrot stick." "How about after you finish it?" "You mean nap time? Be serious!"
Monday October 24,
2005
Tags #unpaid overtime, #death, #deny pleasures, #good night kiss, #this thing, #medical
Transcript
"You know what two things are very similar?" "Unpaid overtime and death. They both deny me the pleasures of being alive." "How about a good night kiss?" "Hey, you found a third thing!"
Monday October 31,
2005
Tags #overall startegy, #never ask questiom, #hear the answer
Transcript
How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"
Friday November 18,
2005
Tags #buy advertsising, #gullible world, #2 billion readers, #three readers
Transcript
Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."
Saturday November 19,
2005
Tags #gullible world magazine, #engineering, #before and after, #picture, #before picture pose, #sexy
Transcript
"May I take your picture for a feature story in 'Gullible World' magazine?" "It's a story about how engineering makes you sexier." "Gosh, okay." "Perfect. Now all I need is someone to pose for the 'After' picture."
Monday November 21,
2005
Tags #hired abusive, #lying, #control freak, #difficult coworkers
Transcript
"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."