Ill User Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Ill User
View 981 - 990 results for ill user comic strips. Discover the best "Ill User" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 30,
2007
Tuesday April 17,
2007
Thursday April 19,
2007
Friday April 20,
2007
Tuesday August 07,
2012
Tags #recessions, #regular interns, #interns intern, #no pay, #semi relevant job experience, #slap you, #no reason, #stupid economy
Transcript
Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.
Tuesday September 04,
2012
Tags #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #budget, #work monitoring software, #calendar, #year 2040, #square boxes, #business
Transcript
Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.
Saturday September 22,
2012
Tags #honesty, #joking, #paperback, #spend free time, #fan of clutter
Transcript
Coworker: It was a great book. I'll loan you the paperback. Dilbert: Thanks. I love it when other people decide how I'll spend my free time. Coworker: I can't tell when you're kidding. Dilbert: Paperbacks are awesome. I'm a big fan of clutter.
Monday October 15,
2012
Tags #poor persons, #rich people, #homely, #middle class, #capitalism
Transcript
CEO: I don't know how to say this delicately so I'll just say it. Looking at your homely, middle-class face makes my skin crawl. Never speak directly to me again. Sometimes I think they don't understand capitalism.
Saturday October 20,
2012
Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #executives, #wages, #long tern survival, #innovate ways, #cannibalize, #current prodcuts, #lose a fortune, #ceo's compensation, #revenue dips, #hovel, #some ideas, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.
Wednesday October 24,
2012
Tags #death & dying, #death certificate, #staple on head, #no return messages
Transcript
Alice: You haven't returned any of my messages, so I took the liberty of making a death certificate for you. I'll just staple it to the back of your head so everyone can see it. Are we good here?