Interfered With Project Comic Strips - Page 99
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Share July 06, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk working with test tubes and beakers of chemicals. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've identified the brain chemical that controls happiness." Dilbert says, "And I found the exact mix of fruit and vegetable juices that stimulate its production." Dilbert asks, "Do you realize what this means?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. Fruits and vegetables will be banned by the government."
Share July 10, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert stands on the hassock holding a plate. Dogbert says, "You already own the 'Acorn Series' of Dogbert's Commemorative Plates . . ." Dogbert continues, "For a limited time you may also purchase my new issue: the 'French Guy With a Hat' series." Dogbert has drawn a face on the acorn. Dilbert says, "My acorn plates are missing." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Tomorrow I'll introduce my new series: 'Russian With French Hat.'"
Share July 22, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a table with a lawyer. The lawyer says to Dogbert, "If you do not drop your class action suit, then you'll have to face ME in court." The lawyer continues, "And I've never lost a case." Dogbert says, "Then how do you know you wouldn't enjoy it." The man replies, "Well . . . I just wouldn't." Dogbert says, "Good argument."
Share July 26, 1993's comic on:
The foreman of the jury reads a document and says, "The jury has reached a decision in the case of 'Dogbert vs. A Big Corporation.'" The man continues, "We award Dogbert fifty million dollars because we hate big companies and we like little dogs with glasses." The man continues, "And we award a Maytag dryer to juror Mindy for being 'Best Dressed.'" The judge covers his eyes and thinks, "I hate my life."
Share July 27, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Does it bother you that I won fifty million dollars in my lawsuit, whereas you still toil to remain middle class?" Dogbert asks, "Does it bother you to know that I could buy and sell you . . How many times?" A woman with a calculator says, "834 times." Dogbert says, "Hey, it's gone up since lunch!"
Share August 02, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "With oxygen and food nearly depleted, the Bioworld volunteers become philosophical." Dogbert and Ratbert communicate using cellular phones. Ratbert says, "Some of the volunteers think that because they're car salespeople you don't value their lives . . ." Dogbert says, "If that were true, how can you explain that we put you in there too?" Ratbert says, "That's what I said, but it didn't seem to cheer them up."
Share August 10, 1993's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."
Share August 19, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, tells the Boss, "I'll use my powers to read the minds of your employees and get ideas for improving morale." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . All they care about is romance, ski trips and 'Star Trek.'" The Boss asks, "How about if we give the high performers little key chains with the company logo?" Dogbert says, "I'm getting a blank from this direction."
Share August 24, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert packs his suitcase. Ratbert says, "I'll go with you on your trip to Elbonia. I can be your bodyguard." Dilbert replies, "It's not a good place for a rat. The mud is quite . . ." Ratbert yells, "You think I'm not tough enough? I'll show you!!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian points at a bump in the mud next to Dilbert and asks, "And THAT'S your bodyguard?" Ratbert says from under the mud, "I don't like the tone of your voice."
Share August 26, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "You start by identifying problem areas." One Elbonian sniffs while another says, "Hmm . . . Sometimes our mittens get stuck to our noses and we can't breathe." As an Elbonian struggles with his mitten, another says, "Yorgi! Try to breathe with your mouth!" Dilbert says, "People! Let's talk metrics, please!"