Job Of Ceo Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Job Of Ceo

View 981 - 990 results for job of ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Job Of Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #shave beard, #time slows, #to crawl, #envelope licker

View Transcript

Transcript

"I decided to shave off the beard I grew when I was waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Beard? I hadn't noticed." "This will take awhile, so I'll wait until time slows to a crawl and do it then." "Did I ever tell you about my first job as an envelope licker?" "Click"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #team assignments, #mprotant things, #ruined meeting, #clueless nimrods, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I've been told that you ignore your team's assignments and work on things that aren't your job." Alice: "That's true. I do important things instead of useless things assigned by clueless nimrods." The Boss: "You totally ruined this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #database analyst, #tech writer, #database anaylst, #ignorance with certainty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, our database analyst quit, so I need you to take over that job. Tina: I'm curious... how long do you think it takes to train a tech writer to be a database analyst? Boss: Forty-five minutes. Tina: I like how you punctuate ignorance with certainty.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #work all night, #inspiring employees, #clearly defined roles, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We'll finish this project even if we have to work all night! Well, I just did my job of inspiring you, so I might as well go home. How do you like our clearly defined roles now?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #need name, #company, #disguise, #treachery, #catchy, #krap2idiots, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I need a name for my company, then I can film the infomercial." Dilbert: "I assume you want a name that will help disguise your treachery." "Not so much." TV: "And now a word from the CEO of Krap2idiots." Dilbert: "Catchy." "Shhh..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #over priced harware, #server upgarades, #coincidence

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I decided to buy all of our server upgrades through Bribertek, Inc." Dilbert: "Question: Are we buying overpriced hardware because they offered you a job?" "Because if we're paying extra to get rid of you, it's money well spent." "It's a coincidence!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #earned 100 million, #senior management, #unexpended stock options, #incentivized

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: "Tomorrow I'll tell the stockholders that we earned $100 million!" dilbert: "Will you tell them that you gave all of their profits to senior management in the form of unexpensed stock options?" "We had to be incentivized." "So you wouldn't take their furniture, too?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #submit, #resume, #misguided optimism, #human will see resume, #email parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Click Submit" to post your resume on the jobs web site." "Now sit back and enjoy the misguided optimism that someday a human being will see it." "Be sure to tell your parents that you looked for a job today." "I'll e-mail them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #finish project, #on time, #geta better boss, #better project, #weeks of confsuion, #no work, #less work, #morale up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at the conference table and says, "If you don't finish the project on time, I'll probably lose my job." Asok the Intern asks, "What would happen to us?" Dilbert answers, "We would get a better boss." Wally continues, "We might get a better project too!" Alice goes on, "There would be weeks of confusion with no work at all!" Everyone shouts, "YAY!!" Alice holds her hands close to her chest and says, "It's all ours if we simply do less work!" Alice says, "Whoo! I've never felt my morale go up before. I'm dizzy." The Boss looks at his paper and curses, "#$%^$#!"