Money Down Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Money Down

View 981 - 990 results for money down comic strips. Discover the best "Money Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Success Is About Who You Know

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #diversification, #investment, #obliviousness, #stock market, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Technical Analysis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

Wally Wears Heels

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Wears Heels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #height, #money, #salary, #short, #tall, #wages, #clogs, #four inch heels, #income per year, #lump sum, #each heel inch

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You might have noticed that I'm wearing clogs with four-inch heels. Studies show that every inch of height is worth $1,000 in income per year. Can I have my $4,000 in a lump sum this year? Boss: I know there is something wrong with this...

Tall People Earn More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tall People Earn More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #discrimination, #fairness, #height, #money, #salary, #wages, #Women, #tall people, #short people, #performance reviews, #height accordingly, #female workers

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.

Ceo Inflates His Own Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Inflates His Own Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #ceos, #competition, #executives, #height, #money, #salary, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.

Tall People And Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tall People And Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discrimination, #frustration, #money, #retribution, #revenge, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: How can you justify paying me less than tall people and men!!! CEO: Duh. The reason is that you are not as tall and you don't have male body parts. Alice: Can I borrow your scissors?