Most Evil Way Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Most Evil Way
View 981 - 990 results for most evil way comic strips. Discover the best "Most Evil Way" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 17,
2013
Tags #honesty, #under informed, #less clever, #good point, #another direction, #boss meeting
Transcript
Boss: You didn't handle this the way I told you. Dilbert: In my defense, you're under-informed and less clever than me. I was hoping he'd say, "Good point," but it went another direction.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 22,
2013
Tags #choosing, #stress, #vacations, #unlimited vacation days, #torpedo career, #source of stress, #set up, #manipulate
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.
Sunday December 22,
2013
Tags #inventions, #automate, #drone, #send drone, #designed, #hydrogen, #wool sweater, #humanity
Transcript
Boss: I found a way to automate the hardest part of my job. I used to do a log of "management by walking around." It was exhausting. Now I just send my drone. I designed it myself and had it built in Elbonia. The hydrogen makes it lighter than air. Dilbert: Hydrogen? Boss: Let's see what Ted is up to. He's wearing a wool sweater today. Ted: Oh, the humanity! Boss: Hold this.
Tuesday December 17,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #writing, #incompressible note, #flermmed th eplootash, #communication, #boss, #emplyee
Transcript
Dilbert: I got the incomprehensible not you left on my desk. I wanted to let you know that I "flermmed the plootash" just as you asked. Boss: What makes you this way? Dilbert: Maybe my DNA is flermmed
Wednesday January 01,
2014
Tags #television news, #act like idiots, #mirror, #details in mirror
Transcript
Dogbert: In today's news, people all over the world continued to act like idiots. Most of the time it didn't turn out well. For details, look in your mirror.
Wednesday January 08,
2014
Tags #emotional well being, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #rodents, #touch a rat, #around neck, #exercises, #business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I can increase your engagement by caring for your emotional well-being. I would give you a hug, but I'm afraid of getting whatever made you this way. But I am willing to touch a rat that touches you, and that's not nothing. Wally: Put it on my neck.
Wednesday January 22,
2014
Tags #answers, #asked, #dumb guy, #formatted data, #obvious in hindsight, #questions, #stare at me, #office seeting, #not enough questions
Transcript
Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?
Monday February 10,
2014
Tags #hypocrisy, #performance review, #projects, #redo, #winding down, #work ethic, #more responsibility
Transcript
Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.
Thursday February 13,
2014
Tags #deception, #language, #managers & supervisors, #key to leadership, #vague golas, #jargon, #wishful thinking, #dumping work, #whine about goals, #better system, #business
Transcript
Boss: The key to leadership is setting vague goals that are a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. That way, I can keep dumping work on you without hearing you whine that it doesn't fit with your goals. You have to admit, my system is better than whatever you're doing over there. Dilbert: Yup.
Sunday March 09,
2014
Tags #managers & supervisors, #fusion powered robot, #speed of light, #budget, #micromanaged, #leadership, #needy followers, #business
Transcript
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.