Need To Talk Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Need To Talk

View 981 - 990 results for need to talk comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attend a meeting, #bully you, #making decions, #bad for dept, #no respect

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "I need you to attend a meeting for your boss while he's on vacation." The man says, "I plan to bully you into making decisions that are bad for your department." Dilbert says, "It's almost as if you have no respect for me." The man says, "Yeah, almost."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time management expert, #evaluation, #curing cancer, #extra hours, #increase chances

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Time Management Expert. Dogbert says, "I can tell by looking at you that it doesn't matter what you do with your time." Dogbert says, "I don't think you'll be curing cancer if I give you a few extra hours per week." Dogbert says, "In fact, it would probably increase your chances of getting it." A man says, "Are we done? I need a smoke?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #escape justice, #support group, #thrown out wondow, #injured, #casts, #bandages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need to find a support group for people who have my same problem." Dilbert says, "Type 'thrown out of a fifth floor window by a CEO who will escape justice.'" A man says, "look who doesn't have a broken leg. Do you think you're better than us?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee wellness programs, #save money, #hellness program, #big picture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Employee wellness programs save money in the long run, but that does you no good." Dogbert says, "You need a program that can save you money now, when it makes a difference." Dilbert says, "A hellness program? I don't like the sound of that." The Boss says, "Try to see the big picture for once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high altitude view, #bunch of termites, #termites hate each other, #eat same log

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #purse at home, #pay you, #curse of competence, #fortune teller, #curse on first born, #crystal ball

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of green, #turn off computer, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #graphics dept, #approve outisde services, #forcing to fail, #justify budget, #my cubicle, #imagine futility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our graphics department is too busy to help me and won't approve outside services." Dilbert says, "They're forcing me to fail so they can justify a bigger budget next year." Dilbert says, "If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle trying to imagine what futility doesn't feel like."