New Coffee Stirrers Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for new coffee stirrers comic strips. Discover the best "New Coffee Stirrers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #stress hump, #goes away, #all in mind

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Could I have a few days off to see if my stress hump goes away? The boss: "Stress is all in your mind. I should fire you and your hump right now for even asking!" Dilbert: "Just because he said no?" new guy: "It was the way he said it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #british acent, #swoon, #fake ccent, #single, #girls fight, #married

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"I think I'm in love with the new guy because of his fake British accent." "He's mine!" "You're married." "I am? Wow! His British accent made me forget." "I say, old beans, did anyone see my brolly on the lift?" "Swoon" "I'm single."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #batch of tiger meat, #project, #chanllenging, #delight stockholders, #not challenging, #less motivated

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"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #da vinci code, #excluding parts, #information etchnology, #mordac, #preventor

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"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology, and I have assigned you a new password." "What is it?" "Click click" "It's the full text of 'The Da Vinci Code,' excluding the parts I don't believe." "I'm not touching you." "Stupid scenery descriptions!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2005's comic on:


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Question: If our new product takes you sixty minutes into the future in one hour... "Isn't that the same as doing nothing at all?" "It also makes you lose weight if you stay in it long enough...while not eating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #flashy, #hot flashes, #suddenly hot, #burning, #cold, #cubicle near thermostat

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"Everyone meet our new team member, Flashy." "GAAA!!! Suddenly so hot!!! Burning!!!" "Flashy will be in the cubicle by the thermostat." "C-c-c-cold!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #gullible world, #magazine, #cover story, #shed pounds, #yell at children, #eat your way, #be a better parent

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My new magazine is called 'Gullible World'. "This month's cover story is 'Shed Pounds by Yelling at Your Children'." "Next month will be 'Eat Your Way to Being a Better Parent'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #buy advertsising, #gullible world, #2 billion readers, #three readers

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Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cable, #doesn't attach, #create demand, #young people dancing, #budget cuts

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Our new product is a cable that doesn't attach to anything. "We hope to create demand via a series of commercials showing young people dancing." "And then we'll all go straight to hell." "He didn't take the last round of budget cuts well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #less money, #use bydget, #flexible, #approving expenses

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"I need to use up my budget before the end of the year or else I'll get less next year." "So I'll be flexible about approving expenses for a few days. Wink, wink." "Nice coffee-holding panda." "You should see the one that isn't pregnant."