Next Meeting Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Next Meeting

View 981 - 990 results for next meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Next Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business meeting, #cup of water, #not impressed, #fill sink, #bring own cup, #not impressive, #optics

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer: I'd like to do business with your company, but I'm concerned that the only beverage you can afford to offer me is water from the restroom sink... and I need to bring my own cup. Dilbert: I also offered to fill the sink and let you lap it out. Customer: And now I'm thirsty!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #leadership, #agenda, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to manage you. It must have been a nightmare for all of you to be without my leadership for so long. Alice: This might be a good tome to lead us to the next topic on the agenda.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #time travel, #rumour, #apple phone, #20 pixel camera, #picture of thoughts, #time machine, #future, #most handsome man, #android phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #emergency, #lostphone, #company id, #keys, #critical folder, #self generated crisi, #dead battery, #small brown purse

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #despair, #prices, #social media expert, #fee, #pay scale, #popcorn, #meeting, #hope left body, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I assume we pay you based on how much you increase our social media hits. Consultant: No. My fee is whatever I think you're dumb enough to pay for ambiguous outcomes. Dilbert: Either hope just left my body or the popcorn is getting chatty. Social media expert

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #controlling gaze, #lazy, #management experts, #managers & supervisors, #one on one meetings, #regular does, #theiveing, #underlings, #work ethic, #toxic saboteur, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #new strategy, #nimble, #meeting, #business plan, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #finish tasks, #communication skills, #poor skills, #task, #breakdown, #work, #delgatation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the tasks we talked about in the last meeting? Dilbert: No, because your communication skills are so poor that I had no idea I was supposed to do a task. Wally: Did I have a task?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #public opinion, #feel engaged, #meeting, #appearences, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.