Project Team Status Report Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for project team status report comic strips. Discover the best "Project Team Status Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

Working With Old Ned

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Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old

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Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

Twizzle The Flurm

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Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

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Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Robot Has A Cyborg

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Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insults, #Kids, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #smartphone

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Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Health Problems

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Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #frustration, #help, #office, #office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

Chemtrails

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Chemtrails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #chemtrails, #deadline

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the boss: why didn't you get your report in on time? wally: do you believe chemtrails are real? the boss: of course i do. wally: the chemtrails slowed me down. the boss: okay, that sounds right.

Potluck Celebration

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Potluck Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #potluck, #friday, #team, #celebration

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the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.

Think Of You As Family

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Think Of You As Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #office workers, #business, #fired, #boarding school

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team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?

Welcome Baskets

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Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #racism, #new employee

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alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Employee Engagement

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Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office, #time, #engagement

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the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.