Same People Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for same people comic strips. Discover the best "Same People" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no meetings, create work, canceled them, drop in

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"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness not realted, level of wealth, relative wealth, good job

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"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ted snadwhich, left in breakroom, marked ted, lost weight, anger, red faced

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"I'll be right back. I'm going to grab a Ted sandwich before the meeting." "A what?" "The food people always leave one sandwich in the break room fridge labeled Ted. It tastes like ham." "You're looking good, Ted. Have you lost weight?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sourpuss, wast of time, drum, half full

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Sourpuss "Whatever you're doing there looks like a complete waste of time." "If you beat your head against the wall, that doesn't make it a drum." "People say the glass is half full. But they don't say of what."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags suggestions, audience, readers, resist perl pressure, unfunny comic, connect to network, email, note from author

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Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar "I'll show you how to spend your golden years on the golf course." "Get a job caddying for people who have better jobs than you." "Never pay rent again, thanks to the patented Dogbert breathing tube for sand traps!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Heh heh! I'll turn my monitor so no passersby can see what I'm doing. "Is he working? Dang! I can't tell." zzzzz "I'm starting to think I can't read people." "Dude. I wasn't kidding. Come back later!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Welcome to Dogbert's school for zombies and/or certified project managers. "The training is the same for either profession. The main difference is that zombies get more sun." "Repeat after me: I want to calendar an on-site post cutover support review meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags center of excellence, presidentail library, honoring lifes work, asking questions

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"I've been asked to design and build our center of excellence." "Which, as I understand it, is like a presidential library honoring my life's work." "In time, people learn to stop asking me questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anti depressant, bad mood, pepper spray, gaaa

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I invented an external anti-depressant. "When I'm in a bad mood I just apply it to other people." Pshht "It used to be called pepper spray." "GAAA!"