Strong Job Market Comic Strips - Page 99

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1000 Results for Strong Job Market

View 981 - 990 results for strong job market comic strips. Discover the best "Strong Job Market" comics from Dilbert.com.

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

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We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

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CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

Millenial Fever

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Millenial Fever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #millennial, #positive reinforcement, #praise, #meaning, #purpose

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Dilbert: I got millennial fever from talking to a millennial. Now I see my job as a meaningless series of empty tasks. Catbert: What do you expect me to do about that? Dilbert: I was hoping for some praise.

Alice Mentors The New Guy

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Alice Mentors The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentee, #competition, #threat, #paranoia, #protege

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Alice: our boss asked me to mentor you. But don't expect too much from me because I see you as a competitor for my job. Man: May I have a mentor who doesn't see me as a threat? Boss: Why? So you can take my job?

Boss Loves Criticism

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Boss Loves Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentee, #protege, #Advice, #competition, #deception

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Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"

Negotiating Expert

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Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness, #business

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Lying To Weasels

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Lying To Weasels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sayings, #Advice, #honesty, #truthfulness

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Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?

Ted Cross Trains

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Ted Cross Trains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cross-training, #fired, #firing, #unemployment

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Boss: Ted, I need you to train the new hire how to do your job. Ted: Are you firing me? Boss: No, no. Just standard cross-training. Ted: Okay, I was worried for a second there. Boss: And start tidying up your cubicle.

Dilbert And Monkeys

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Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

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Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.

Elbonian Cabbage Juggling

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Elbonian Cabbage Juggling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #offense, #offensive, #racist, #racism

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Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.