Unfunded Man Date Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Unfunded Man Date

View 981 - 990 results for unfunded man date comic strips. Discover the best "Unfunded Man Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last bullet point, #bullet point, #admit wrong, #alice heard wrong, #boss has to admit wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice has just presented a document to the Boss. As the Boss reads it, he tells her, "Remove that last bullet point. It's stupid." Alice gasps. Alice crosses her arms and says, "Yesterday, you told me to add that bullet point." She continues, "So either you were wrong today or you were wrong yesterday." The Boss ponders this. Alice pokes her head out of the Boss' office to tell the other workers, "Everyone come quickly! He has to admit he's wrong!" Dilbert and Asok sprint down the hall. Wally's head pops up from behind his cubicle wall, elated. Once the other employees are gathered around her, Alice cues the Boss, "Say it." The Boss responds, "Alice heard me wrong yesterday." Alice is furious as everyone continues to stand around her. Wally says, "It takes a big man to admit Alice is wrong." Asok, cupping his hands to his mouth, yells, "Can you hear us Alice?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #positive attitude alice, #coworker, #paper weight, #throws at head, #clocks head, #positive attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice works at her computer. The Boss says, "It's 'positive attitude week,' Alice." The Boss hands Alice a paperweight. The Boss says, "If you see a co-worker with a positive attitude..." The Boss says, "...give him the positive attitude paperweight." A man walks down the hall whistling, as Alice cocks her arm with the paperweight. Alice says, "There's one!" The paperweight glances of the man's head. Alice says to The Boss, "It worked. He's back to normal. The man says, "#$!!" Wally says, "Ha Ha Ha!!" Alice thinks, "Uh-oh." The man says, "#$!!" Alice says to the boss, "One more! Quick!!" The Boss covers his eyes in frustration.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #receptionist, #delivery man, #attractive people, #positions

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm not." "Believe me, I know that. Companies generally put attractive people in those positions." Carol: "I don't like where this is heading." "I'll wait until she get's back. Yum-Yum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gay boss, #nelson, #male, #no bomus, #train to be boss, #support family, #gay, #dating rugby team

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, this is your new supervisor, Nelson. You'll be training him to be your boss. The Boss: There won't be any bonuses this year because i gave it all to nelson. he's a man, sio he needs to support a family. Nelson: Im gay The Boss: Um....civil union and adoption, right? Nelson: Im dating a rugby team.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguments, #based on definiatoons, #fascist, #wearing pajamas, #wearing top

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "From now on, all of my arguments will be based on definitions that are not in any dictionary." "For example, I could argue that you're a facist because you're wearing pajamas." Dilbert: "I'm only wearing the top." Dogbert: "Man I wish I didn't know that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctors offcie, #exam room, #toxikill, #drug comapny, #totally hot, #side effects, #what eaten, #doctor, #thinking of date, #drug rep, #hot, #payoff, #kick back, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You're healthy but I have to give you a prescription for tocikill. The drug company's rep is totally hot and said she'd take me to lunch if I sell enough of this stuff." Dilbert: Will there be any side effects?" " Doctor: Depends on what I eat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consultsincentivize the resources, #grow bandwidth, #end state vision, #kimono, #consult and blabbery, #core competencies, #brain dump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults. Incentivize the resources to grow within their bandwidth to your end-state vision. "Don't open the Kimono until you ping the change agent for brain dump and drill down to your core competencies." "Confused look...huge invoice...this man is a victim of consult and blabbery."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clone themsleves, #unethical, #morality, #self causing, #accepted norms, #garbageman

View Transcript

Transcript

"Why is it unethical for humans to clone themselves?" "Morality is based on accepted norms. And accepted norms are based on morality." "It's self causing?" "Ironically, yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intermediate species, #hominid, #oyster, #light sensitive blob, #serious pearl

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."