Upgrade Now Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for upgrade now comic strips. Discover the best "Upgrade Now" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2007's comic on:


Tags #good will, #purchased, #redesigned headquarters, #horses rump, #executive suite

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Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #finished work, #high profile assignment, #create docuemnt, #rout it around, #how to keep intern busy

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Asok: "I finished all of my work, and now I'm available for another high profile assignment." The Boss: "Create a document and route it around for approval." Asok: "On what topic?" The Boss: "How to keep an intern busy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #documentary on bugs, #insecure, #self centered, #walk, #date, #self involved

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Dilbert: "I saw a fascinating documentary about bugs." Date: "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." Dilbert: "Yes, but I didn't realize it until just now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #cost estimates, #constant supervison, #time to watch

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The Boss: "Wally, did you get those cost estimates I asked for last week?" Wally: "No, I need constant supervision." The Boss: "Can you do it now?" Wally: "Do you have time to watch?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #org chart, #personal problems, #appendix, #health, #excuse, #drama

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The Boss, "Carol, did you update the org chart yet?" Carol: "No. I kept waiting for it to become more important than my personal problems. But it just never happened." The Boss: "how about right now?" Carol: "Ouch! I think that's my appendix!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #negotiate, #reserchers, #two computers, #women dont, #more complaining

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Tina: "Why does Dilbert get two computer monitors while I only get one?" The Boss: "Well, according to researchers, it's because men tend to negotiate and women don't." Tina: "So, what happens now?" The Boss: "If I had to guess, I'd say more complaining."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2007's comic on:


Tags #be sick, #in advance, #not know, #scheduled, #sick days

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources CatBert: "From now on, all sick days must be scheduled in advance." Alice: "That's ridiculous. how are we supposed to know when we're going to be sick?" "Tomorrow." Catbert: "I hired a guy who never washes his hands to help you with scheduling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #consultatnt, #lies or truth, #manage engineers, #earthworm juggle, #premium price

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Dogbert Consults Dilbert: "Do you want me to lie to you for $400 per hour or give you the truth for $200?" The Boss: "I'll take the truth." Dogbert: "Okay, the problem is that having you try to manage engineers is like having an earthworm try to juggle." "How's my premium pricing option sound to you now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #next project, #private shuttle, #moon, #innocent tourists, #vacuum of psce, #rationalizations

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The boss: "Our next project is building a private shuttle to the moon." "Now if you make any mistakes, innocent tourists will perish in the vacuum of space." Dilbert: "We need to work on our rationalizations." Wally: "Is anyone really 'innocent'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering

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Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"