What People Want Comic Strips - Page 99
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View 981 - 990 results for what people want comic strips. Discover the best "What People Want" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 20, 1999's comic on:
The Boss holds a camera and says to Dilbert, "Photography is my new hobby." The Boss takes a flash photograph of himself. Dilbert says to himself, "Do you want a picture of me?" The Boss says, "No, I like to look at them later."
Share November 18, 1999's comic on:
Alice, Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. The boss says, "The company will not buy PDA's for employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Will you still pay for business trips of no discernible value?" The boss replies, "Of course." The boss is thinking, "A lot of people are traveling to Palm Pilot California lately."
Share November 30, 1999's comic on:
Carol with a child in each hand comes up to Dilbert, who is at his computer and says, "I brought my kids to work because day care is closed." Dilbert turns around and Carol introduces the kids. "Tess is a yeller and Smokey is a biter." Later on... Dilbert, with Smokey hanging from his teeth on his arm and Tess on his leg screaming, is now standing behind Carol, who is sitting at her desk. Dilbert says, "Why is day care closed?" Carol replies, "The townspeople torched it."
Share December 04, 1999's comic on:
Wally is holding up a book and walking with Dilbert and says: "I found a book about astral projection." Wally walks into a meeting room, followed by Dilbert, and says:"I'm gonna try this during our meeting." Wally is sitting at the meeting between two women grinding his teeth and hitting his fists against the table. One of the women says: "Does anyone want to switch chairs?"
Share December 17, 1999's comic on:
The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss has a sheet of paper and a pen on the table. The boss says: "We have the best employees in the world..." The boss says: "...not counting the people who refuse to work here because the pay is so low." The boss thinks while writing something: "Improve morale... done." Wally and Dilbert look away.
Share December 20, 1999's comic on:
The boss and Asok are sitting and facing each other. The boss says: "Asok, I want you to observe our VP so we can figure out what our priorities are." The boss tells Asok :We've built a duck blind in his office using cubicle material." Asok is hiding in the duck blind covered with leaves at the top. The V.P. is at his desk flossing his teeth. Asok thinks: "10:28 A.M., the subject is flossing."
Share July 26, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."
Share September 13, 1998's comic on:
The Boss stands in casual clothes and says, "It's time for my annual inspirational talk." The Boss says, "We must work twice as hard, or the competition will crush us!" Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in front of the Boss as he continues, "I want you to feel afraid twenty-four hours a day." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: wouldn't hat lower the quality of our lives?" Wally says, "Seems like it might." Wally continues, "I'm too afraid to work here now. I wonder if our competitor's are hiring?" Alice raises her hand and asks, "Question: should we continue to be afraid of our own management's incompetence?" The Boss replies, "Let's compromise. I'll agree to cut the meeting short if you'll all agree to feel worse in some way." The Boss leaves the meeting and thinks, "No I remember why I only inspire them once a year."
Share November 06, 1999's comic on:
Share March 06, 2000's comic on:
The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."