Women Dont Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Women Dont

View 981 - 990 results for women dont comic strips. Discover the best "Women Dont" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2001's comic on:

Tags #discount brokerage, #open an account, #money eveaporates, #photo synthesis, #yes haw

View Transcript

Transcript

DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert says to a prospective customer, "You can only open an account if you meet my stringent requirements." Dogbert says, "True or false: Money evaporates because of photo-synthesis." The prospective customer replies, "True?" Dogbert says, "You're in." The customer thinks, "Don't yell yee-haw!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2001's comic on:

Tags #discount brokerage, #free investment, #money, #paid for advice

View Transcript

Transcript

DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2001's comic on:

Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2001's comic on:

Tags #deadlines, #finish on time, #forty hours, #good news, #bad news, #boss, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer as The Boss says, "Good news: The deadline got pushed back a week." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Good news?! I've been working for forty hours straight to finish on time!" The Boss thinks, "I just realized I don't know the difference between good news and bad news."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2001's comic on:

Tags #positive reinforcement, #addicted, #wearing off, #crazy woman, #drool, #lunch room, #boss words

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I experienced something called positive reinforcement today." Alice continues, "I'm addicted to it now... But it's wearing off... Must get more..." Alice says, "Say something nice about me!" Dilbert chews his lunch as Wally says, "For a crazy woman you don't drool much."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2001's comic on:

Tags #afraid of change, #operation, #someone listened to you, #gender change, #move to china

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a male co-worker are listening to The Boss. The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change." The Boss listens as the male co-worker stands up and says, "You're right! I'm going to get a gender change operation and move to China!" Wally says to The Boss, "I've always wondered what would happen if someone listened to you."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2001's comic on:

Tags #no opinion, #spineless, #Opinion, #unnecessary pain, #cry in public

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman are sitting at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "You don't give your opinion on anything. Are you spineless?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you create an environment in which giving an opinion is an invitation to unnecessary pain." The woman exclaims to Dilbert, "Great! You're making me cry in public!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2001's comic on:

Tags #discovered oil, #wild life perserve, #elbonian, #endangered species, #no impact, #drilled unicorn, #dead, #animals, #drill fields

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we've discovered oil in the Elbonian wild life preserve. DOnt worry about the endangered species. Our drilling will have no impact. ELbonian: oops

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2001's comic on:

Tags #evil robot, #annihilates the galaxy, #worst means

View Transcript

Transcript

A male co-worker asks Dilbert, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "Our beta product could turn into an evil robot that annihilates the galaxy." Approaching Dogbert, Dilbert says, "Apparently I don't know what 'worst' means."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2001's comic on:

Tags #coworkers naked, #no more donuts, #boredom

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at a conference table and thinking, "Maybe I can stave off the boredom by imagining my co-workers naked." Turning to Wally, Alice screams, "Aaagh! No-o-o-0!!!" Alice says to Wally, "No more donuts for you." Wally says, "Hey, don't even kid about that."