Work Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Work
View 981 - 990 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 13,
2001
Tags #bob, #ex emloyee, #died, #funeral, #barely knew, #erfromance review, #communication skills, #attendance
Transcript
Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "Bob was working for you when he died. The family wants you to say something at his funeral." The Boss replies, "I barely knew him. Maybe I can read something from his last performance review." The Boss is standing at a podium at the funeral. He says in his speech, "Bob needs to work on his communication skills.. and attendance."
Tuesday August 21,
2001
Tags #dating attractive men, #dumb self centered, #intelligent homely guy, #gym, #free weights, #girl talk, #Dilbert, #Women
Transcript
Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"
Wednesday September 05,
2001
Tags #no problems, #week, #issues, #opportunites, #challenges, #valuable learning experinces
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says to The Boss, "I'm pleased to report that I had no problems this week." Wally continues, "I only had issues, opportunities, challenges, and valuable learning experiences." The Boss replies, "Did you do any work?" Wally responds, "It didn't seem necessary."
Saturday September 08,
2001
Tags #learn take risks, #quitting company, #someplace better, #understand
Transcript
Alice is sitting at The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Alice, you have to learn how to take risks." Alice replies, "You mean like quitting this putrid company and going to work someplace better?" The Boss asks Catbert, "Why doesn't anyone understand anything I say?" Catbert responds, "Three o'clock."
Tuesday September 18,
2001
Tags #job market, #bad job market, #how hard, #unemployed, #leader
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and asks, "How's the ol' job market lately? It's pretty bad, isn't it?" The Boss continues, "So no matter how hard I make you work it's still better than being unemployed." Dilbert turns in surprise. The Boss says, "Who's your leader? Go on, say it." Dilbert puts his head in his hands and replies quietly, "You are."
Monday September 24,
2001
Tags #email service problem, #no email, #phone call, #playing with tech support, #three computers, #web function, #account information
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer at home. He says into the telephone, "Look, I have three computers in the house. All three simultaneously lost e-mail but not web function." He continues, shaking his fist in the air, "That means the problem is in your e- mail service. Can you grasp that concept?" Dilbert is laying on the couch with a cup of coffee. He says into the phone, "Okay. I'm re-entering my account information... Hey, guess what? That didn't work either."
Tuesday October 02,
2001
Tags #clone of boss, #procedure failure, #knick knack, #small creature, #part horse, #part human, #tiney, #antennas
Transcript
A tiny centaur is standing on a table. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a clone of your boss?" Dilbert responds, "The procedure didn't exactly work. So you're not so much a human being as you are a..." Centaur, "God?" Dilbert responds, "Knickknack."
Tuesday October 09,
2001
Tags #become teacher, #educate leaders, #educate the morons, #stop beliveing, #eat the sdonut, #dreams, #crush
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe I should become a teacher so I can educate the leaders of tomorrow." Dogbert responds, "Maybe you should educate the morons of tomorrow so they'll stop believing the leaders of tomorrow." Dilbert replies, "Maybe I'll just eat this donut and go to work." Dogbert asks, "Do you have more dreams I can crush?"
Wednesday October 31,
2001
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #assistant recovers, #cold or flu, #should dissolved, #winged demon, #business
Transcript
The Boss says to Asok, "Asok, I want you to work for the evil director of human resources until his assistant recovers." Asok replies, "From what is he recovering? Is it a cold or perhaps a flu?" The Boss responds, "He saw so much evil that his soul dissolved and he became a winged demon."
Thursday February 14,
2002
Tags #outsourcing, #project, #huge hourly rate, #specified
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I've reduced our development costs by outsourcing the project." Dilbert responds, "Does the proposal have a huge hourly rate for any work not specified in the contract?" The Boss replies, "Why do you ask?" Wally thinks, "Stay out of it."