Better Than Me Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

521 Results for Better Than Me

View 1 - 10 results for better than me comic strips. Discover the best "Better Than Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human body, medicines, vitamin d, inner glow, vitamins, minerals, better than sun

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, language, best shore, off shore, some countries, better than others, racists

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excitement, interviews, wages, interview, less money, worse job, imagined better, hald day, next useless interview, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags exercise & fitness, ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, brain work better, the ighties, debunks science, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Scientists say that exercise makes your brain work better." The Boss says, "I haven't exercised since the eighties." The Boss says, "That pretty much debunks science." Alice says, "It had a good run."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gloating, managers & supervisors, meetings, alice in charge, better than, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our pointy haired boss put me in charge while he's gone. Thats proof that Im better than you...and you...and you...and you... and you. Oh look: thats the only thing on my agenda!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blaming, quarreling, work independantly, close eyes, fall back, better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, mergers & acquisitions, slavery is illeagal, engineers are free, find jobs, better companies

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags better job, goldilocks zone, managers, marinate in own stench, monster, skills expire, technology certifictae, training, your training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags grumpy dog, no flattery, chocolate cake, feel better, scratch behind ears, leg spasms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm grumpy today, so don't even try to talk to me." Dogbert continues, "And don't try to flatter me or give me chocolate cake to make me feel better." Dilbert says, "And I guess I shouldn't scratch you behind the ears until you have little leg spasms." Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs and says, "Right. None of that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, yank, loose threads, cut, better, Lose, head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks at his shirt sleeve and thinks, "Loose thread." Dilbert grabs the thread and thinks, "I can't remember if it's better to cut these or just yank on them." Dilbert yanks the thread and his head collapses into his shirt.