Contract States Comic Strips
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97 Results for Contract States
View 1 - 10 results for contract states comic strips. Discover the best "Contract States" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 07,
2001
Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."
Tuesday January 06,
2015
Marriage Is A Financial Contract
Tags #contract, #contracts, #dating, #marriage, #money, #romance, #serious realtionship, #marraige, #financial contract, #vendor, #spouce, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?
Wednesday August 22,
2018
Jerry The Contract Employee
Tags #threat, #Dilbert, #the boss, #jerry, #contract, #zebra, #agile
Transcript
The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.
Friday February 25,
2011
Tags #context, #contracts, #harvest organs, #holes in contract, #software contract, #signed contract, #holes in torso
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I signed a software contract without getting your input because I was in a hurry." Dilbert says, "Now the software company claims they can harvest my organs." Dilbert says, "Do you see any holes in their contract?" Lawyer says, "They mention holes... in the context of your torso."
Monday July 18,
2011
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #class, #more efficient, #government contract, #stuffed deer
Transcript
Dilbert: This class will make me more efficient. Boss: I don't want you to be more efficient. You're working on a government contract and billing by the hour. Now go bill them for the time you stood here and stared at me like a stuffed deer.
Thursday March 08,
2012
Tags #elbonian contract, #legal, #night work, #contract programmmers, #heart attacks
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I want you to manage our Elbonian contract programmers. You'll need to work at night because of the time difference. Wally: People who work at night have more heart attacks. Are you trying to kill me? Boss: Yes, and it's totally legal. Wally: Well played.
Thursday December 28,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dan quayle, #vice president, #states, #pants, #lord, #bed, #rock
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Oh, sure, Dan Quayle may be Vice President of the United States . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But he still puts his pants on one leg at a time." Dan Quayle sits on his bed with his arms through one of his pant legs. Marilyn Quayle covers her eyes and thinks, "Oh, Lord, not this again . . ."
Wednesday September 11,
1991
Tags #man, #george lucas, #Dogbert, #news, #sub-contract, #dan, #quayle, #muppets, #film studio, #faked, #special, #effects, #company
Transcript
A man says to George Lucas, "There's a dog here to see you, sir. He may be on to our operation." Lucas asks Dogbert, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I came to find out if the news on television is all faked by your special effects company." Lucas and Dogbert sit at a table. Lucas says, "Actually, we don't do ALL of the news here. We had to sub-contract the Dan Quayle stuff to the Muppets." Dogbert says, "I knew that."
Thursday September 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #man, #rectangles, #heard, #boss, #geometry, #major, #good, #thinking, #geography, #rectangle, #states
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to him whispers, "What's your presentation going to be about?" Dilbert replies in a whisper, "Rectangles. We heard the Boss was a geometry major." The man says, "Good thinking. But I heard he was a geography major, not geometry." Dilbert points to a rectangle projected onto the wall and says, "Wyoming: one of the many rectangular states."
Monday February 24,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #president, #united states, #charisma, #unify, #divided, #Political, #party, #democrat, #communist
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to run for President of the United States." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping my charisma will unify a divided political party." Dilbert asks, "You're running as a Democrat?" Dogbert replies, "No, Communist. I want to have a chance."