Financial Problems Comic Strips

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254 Results for Financial Problems

View 1 - 10 results for financial problems comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

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Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hot mess employee, #magnet for problems, #wally stalks her

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"My life is a rolling disaster." "I'm a magnet for all problems legal, financial, medical and romantic." "Uh-oh... I sense another disaster brewing." wally: "Shes cute. I think I'll stalk her every day."

I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems

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I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #authority, #convincing, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #launch deadline, #solutions, #unexpected problems, #business

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Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.

Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting

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Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finances, #financial advisor, #investing, #knowledge, #money, #personal finance

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Financial Advisor. Dilbert: You kept me waiting in the lobby for five minutes. So I used that time to learn everything that matters in the field of personal investing. Did you know that you don't know much? Financial Advisor: I did not know that.

Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is

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Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial advisor, #investing, #money, #stock market, #swindling, #convertible notes, #preferred stock, #call options, #career ambition, #ginat mosquito

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Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.

Marriage Is A Financial Contract

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Marriage Is A Financial Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract, #contracts, #dating, #marriage, #money, #romance, #serious realtionship, #marraige, #financial contract, #vendor, #spouce, #relationships

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Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?

Unforseen Problems

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Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

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Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Anticipate Problems

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Anticipate Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems

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Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...

Solves Too Few Problems

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Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Where The Problems Are

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Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #application, #app, #technology, #improvement, #dumb, #implement, #problems, #insult, #face mask

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co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.