Gain Trust Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

117 Results for Gain Trust

View 1 - 10 results for gain trust comic strips. Discover the best "Gain Trust" comics from Dilbert.com.

Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #condescention, #condescending, #agreement, #mocking, #insult, #insulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop agreeing with me in ways that sound like you don't mean it. Dilbert: Experts say one should first agree with idiots to gain trust before trying to change their minds. Boss: You need to stop doing that. Dilbert: You are so right about that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #become irreplaceable, #escaped felon, #gain trust, #biggest cutsomers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wall: "I need to become irreplaceable so I can't be fired for my behavior." "I'll gain the trust of our biggest customer so they'll only deal with me." "I probably shouldn't say this, but everyone in my company except me is an escaped felon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cynics annoymous, #naive sense, #trust, #paid dues, #beer, #gambling cruis

View Transcript

Transcript

CYNICS ANONYMOUS Dilbert: My company sent me here to ref=gain my naive sense of trust. All in favor of using Dilberts company paid dues on beer say aye. Make sure you sign up for our gambling cruise.

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Trust Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #trust, #pretend, #different

View Transcript

Transcript

in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #deception, #trust and stupidity, #demonstrates question, #difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, is there any difference between trust and stupidity? Wally: Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Asok: Oh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #strategy, #Dogbert, #financial, #advisor, #live, #lifelong, #bond, #trust, #money, #churn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "Hi! I want to be your financial advisor." The man continues, "I've come to live with you. We'll eventually form a lifelong bond of trust and friendship." Dogbert says angrily, "I liked better when you guys just took our money." The man says, "I recommend a strategy called 'Churn.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rivers, #trees, #management, #start, #trust-building, #exercise, #minute, #decide, #eat, #donuts, #co-worker, #bear, #donut, #committee, #Wally, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "We'll start with a trust-building exercise." The instructor points to a person dangling by a rope over a bear and a plate of donuts. The instructor says, "You have one minute to decide to eat these donuts or to save your co-worker from the bear." Alice asks, "Okay, who wants to be on the donut option working committee?" Wally says, "Oops . . . Problem solved."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business case, #various mangers, #being misplaced, #kill for personal gain, #buried, #not cremeated, #lasting impression, #earth, #mail corpse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #embassy, #nutty, #radical, #cars, #laws, #automatic, #direction, #politicians, #trust, #question, #insulted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from a man in a strange robe and hat. The man asks, "Why have you come to the embassy of the nutty radical country of Pingo-Pongo?" Dogbert replies, "I want a job as a diplomat." The man asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to get in on the 'diplomatic immunity' scam." Dogbert throws his head back and cries, "I want to drive cars over people's lawns . . . I want to fire automatic weapons in any direction!!!" Dogbert laughs wickedly and shouts, "I want to throw Jello at politicians!" The man asks, "How do we know we could trust you?" Dogbert replies, "Sir! I am insulted by your question!"