Dilbert: I'm worried because I don't seem to have any problems today. Wally: Uh-oh. Dilbert: That either means I'm insane or the universe is saving up something big. Wally: Or both. Dilbert: I feel like a nail waiting to get hammered. Wally: The pre-frontal cortex is overrated.
"I have a great idea."
"I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...."
"Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!"
"You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!"
"If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!"
"Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!"
"That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book."
"It looks like someone has been showing initiative."
"Please shut up."