Heavy Weight Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

59 Results for Heavy Weight

View 1 - 10 results for heavy weight comic strips. Discover the best "Heavy Weight" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heavy weight, #boxing cahampion, #new goal, #ratbert, #too small, #slow, #clueless, #catching on

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "My new goal, Bob, is to be the next heavyweight boxing champion of the world!!" Ratbert continues, "Don't let anybody ever tell you that you're too small or too slow or too uncoordinated." Bob interjects, "Or too clueless." Ratbert responds, "Exactly! Now you're catching on."

View more books now

Employee Weight Loss Contest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Weight Loss Contest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obesity, #health, #weight loss, #weight, #dieting, #cheating, #competition, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Next month is employee health awareness month, so we decided to have a weight-loss competition. We'll start on the first of the month, and the winner gets a week of paid vacation. Wally: When he thinks back on this, he'll realize he shouldn't have given us three weeks to bulk up before the first weigh-in.

Gain Weight Using Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gain Weight Using Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #warning, #caution, #labeleing, #weight, #safety, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Did I leave out any risks on the product warning page? Boss: I don't see anything about the risk of overeating while owning the product. Tina: Our product has nothing to do with eating. Boss: Then why did I gain weight when I used it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearences, #big cubicle, #loose weight, #project leader, #status system, #toilet paper holder, #wider cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #opera, #weasels, #heavy metal rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "You know what kind of music I hate?" Dogbert continues, "When they wear those outrageous outfits, scream like tortured weasels and nobody understands the words." Dilbert asks, "Heavy metal rock?" Dogbert replies, "Opera."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #news, #discovered, #anti-gravity, #formula, #newsworthy, #weight, #exercising, #misleading, #unethical, #marketing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert floats in mid-air with a propeller attached to his back. He says into the phone, "Hello, ABC News? I've discovered an anti-gravity formula." Dilbert continues, "What?! It's not newsworthy?!" Dogbert says, "Tell him it lets you lose weight without exercising." Dilbert covers the telephone receiver and asks, "Isn't that misleading and unethical?" Dogbert replies, "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #park bench, #Dogbert, #parties, #lift, #heavy, #sound, #dumb, #body, #builder, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a muscular man. The large man says, "It's not easy to be a professional body builder." The man continues, "At parties, people ask what I do. I have to say 'I lift heavy things, then I put them down.' It makes me sound dumb." Dogbert asks, "How's the pay?" The man asks, "Pay?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonia, #impressed, #diplomacy, #economic, #advisor, #airlines, #weight, #calculate, #rebel, #leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is carrying a suitcase, says to Dogbert, "The President of Elbonia asked me to negotiate an end to their civil war." Dogbert asks, "Why you?" Dilbert replies, "No doubt he was impressed by my diplomacy when I was an economic advisor . . . I just wish I didn't have to fly on Elbonia Airlines." In Elbonia, two Elbonians looks at a diagram of a cannon firing at a target. One man says, ". . . At his weight, we calculate that Elbonia Airlines will fling him right on the rebel leader."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #weight, #universe, #collapsed, #existence, #thimble, #space, #logical, #flaw, #theory

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk explaining to Ratbert, "Then, Ratbert, the weight of the universe collapsed in on itself until all of existence could fit into a thimble!" Ratbert asks, "Why would there be a thimble in space?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . There wouldn't . . ." Ratbert says, "Boy, it didn't take long to spot the gaping logical flaw in that theory."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tweaking brittle, #brittle people, #tech wroter, #forms of expression, #insult gender, #tina, #orgs of expression, #venus de milo, #Women, #lift heavy objects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I feel like tweaking some brittle people. Do you known any brittle people?" Dilbert responds, "Try Tina the tech writer. She believes that all forms of expression are an insult to her gender and her profession." Dogbert says to Tina, "The statue of 'Venus de Milo' has no arms." Tina replies angrily, "Oh, I get it. You're saying that women can't lift heavy objects."