Maintenance Agreement Comic Strips
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49 Results for Maintenance Agreement
View 1 - 10 results for maintenance agreement comic strips. Discover the best "Maintenance Agreement" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 22,
2011
Tags #lawyers & attorneys, #legal advice, #chain reaction, #future visionary leader not being born, #maintenance agreement, #stabbing gandhi
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."
Tuesday December 05,
1995
Tags #lousy vendor, #sales rep, #gorgeous, #field engineer, #without shirt, #indian chief, #maintenance package
Transcript
Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."
Thursday February 15,
1996
Tags #revised standard employment agreement, #only company, #pudding head, #attitude, #lawyes, #rabies, #psychology
Transcript
The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "Here's the revised standard employment agreement. Sign it or be fired." Dilbert reads, "This agreement is between the Company (hereafter referred to as 'The Only Company That Would Ever Hire You') and you (hereafter called 'Pudding Head')." Dilbert says, "It seems to have a bit of attitude." The Boss responds, "Our lawyers turned on us. I suspect rabies."
Friday February 16,
1996
Tags #expect, #new employment agreement, #first born, #dna, #derivative works
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "I can't believe they expect us to sign these new employment agreement forms." Wally says, "According to this, anything we even THINK of becomes the Company's property. I'm surprised they don't claim our first born sons!" Wally continues, "What do you suppose it means when they copyright our 'DNA and all derivative works?'" Alice says, "They'd make an exception for you."
Saturday February 17,
1996
Tags #agreement, #grant, #sign, #strategic omissions, #waiver, #proofread, #company, #forcing to sign, #business
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch with his knees bent. He hands a document to Dogbert and says, "Look at the agreement my company is forcing us to sign. They claim the rights to any idea an employee ever has." Dilbert looks at the document and says, "No problem. Just retype it with a few strategic omissions and sign it. They can't proofread every one." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be dishonest?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe you could just show them some of your ideas and they'd grant a waiver."
Saturday March 16,
1996
Tags #started own compnay, #selling product, #be rich, #victory jog, #employment agreement, #patent rights
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I started our own company. We're selling the product that you said nobody wants." Wally adds, "Soon we will be rich." As they dance around the office, Dilbert says, "We do our victory jig in your face." Wally says, "Ba-bum" as the shakes back and forth. Wally and Dilbert are sobbing in the hallway. Alice asks, "When he showed you your employment agreement - where you gave all patent rights to this company - what part of the jig were you doing?" Dilbert replies, "Turbo mooning."
Tuesday April 29,
1997
Tags #compensation lan, #good news, #stock options, #updated agreement, #mugging
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Good news about your compensation plan . . ." Dilbert says, "I hate good news about my compensation plan." The Boss says, "Twenty percent of your pay will now be in the form of stock options instead of cash!" The Boss says, "To get your stock options, simply sign this updated employment agreement." Dilbert asks, "Why does good news feel like a mugging?"
Wednesday April 30,
1997
Tags #stock options, #sign agreement, #yada yada
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the couch and Dilbert sits on the floor looking at a contract. Dilbert says, "My company won't give me my stock options unless I sign this new employment agreement." Dogbert reaches for the document and says, "Here." Dogbert says, "Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada." Dilbert asks, "What do you think?" Dogbert replies, "I'm not reading it. I just like to look at documents and go yada, yada, yada."
Thursday May 01,
1997
Tags #sign agreement, #5 year after, #Wally, #doesn't work anyway, #boss, #contract
Transcript
Wally reads a contract and asks, "You want me to sign an agreement that I won't work for a competitor for five years if I leave here?" The Boss hands him a pen. Wally says, "No problem. Here you go." The Boss thinks, "This is too easy." Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "I haven't done any work HERE for five years, so how hard could it be?" A computer prompt asks, "New game?"
Wednesday January 20,
1999
Tags #sold internet business, #married, #pre nuptual, #agreement, #honey moon, #read prenup
Transcript
Wally, still with his ponytail, walks up to Dilbert and Alice who eat lunch. Wally has a woman (bimbo) on his arm. Wally says, "I sold me internet business and married Roxie." Wally says, "Don't worry about my money. Roxie insisted that we sign prenuptial agreements." Wally says, "Now for our honeymoon." Roxie says, "Whoa! That's not in our agreement." Alice says, "He didn't read it."