Make Any Differnce Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Make Any Differnce
View 1 - 10 results for make any differnce comic strips. Discover the best "Make Any Differnce" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 11,
1996
Tags #team building, #exercise, #solve problems, #working sundial, #pencil, #donut, #make any differnce, #health
Transcript
Dogbert says to Alice, Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This next exercise will challenge your ability to solve problems as a team." Dogbert says, "Build a working sundial using only a pencil and a donut." Four hours later, the Boss says with his mouth full, "One more bite isn't going to make any difference." The pencil lies next to a pile of crumbs on the table. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
Thursday January 20,
2000
Tags #dogcart investments, #1% annual fee, #invest money, #certified financial planner, #make money
Transcript
Dogbert investments: Dogbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Dogbert says to the boss: "For a 1% annual fee I will invest your money with a certified financial planner." Dogbert says: "He'll charge 1% per year to put your money in mutual funds that charge 1% per year." The boss asks: "Will I make any money?" Dogbert answers: " I don't see you doing any of the work."
Wednesday May 09,
2012
Tags #absurd, #assumptions, #forecast, #meetings, #revenue forecst
Transcript
Coworker: And my revenue forecast says... Dilbert: Did you make any assumptions? Coworker: I made a lot of them. Dilbert: Then we don't believe your forecast. Coworker: Can I tell you about it anyway? Dilbert: Do whatever makes you feel less absurd.
Friday February 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #date, #home, #coffee, #brainella, #queen, #bee, #light, #bulbs
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock reading a book. Dilbert says, "Pssst! Dogbert." Dilbert says, "I brought my date home for some coffee. Please don't make any comments about her . . . Uh . . . Looks." Dilbert brings his date in and says, "Brainella, this is Dogbert." Dogbert sees her large head and asks, "The Queen Bee of light bulbs?"
Sunday February 07,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #television, #budget, #education, #money, #percentage, #difference, #music, #safety, #law, #studies, #piano-related deaths, #lawmakers, #health risks, #watching, #scary, #shows
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."
Friday July 10,
1998
Tags #web pages, #urls, #replace urls, #uniform resource locators
Transcript
Dilbert sitting at computer terminal while The Boss gripes, "I don't see why our web pages need URLs. Get rid of them." The Boss, in a unsure manner, says, "Did that make any sense?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, it's brilliant." Dilbert says, "Give me a month and I'll replace our URLs with uniform resource locators." The Boss clinches his fist and says, "Perfect."
Wednesday June 15,
2005
Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good
Transcript
"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."
Thursday September 29,
2005
Friday September 14,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #poor persons, #rich people, #invented ethics, #trash talk
Transcript
CEO: Did you know that poor people invented ethics to control rich people? Nice try, poor people! It's not working! If they haven't killed me by now, a little trash talk won't make any difference.
Thursday November 11,
2010
Tags #office, #Environment, #risks, #mistakes, #fist, #hard job
Transcript
The Boss says, "My job is to create an environment where employees feel safe taking risks." The Boss says, "My other job is punishing employees who make any kind of mistake." The Boss says, "My point is that I'm glad I don't have your job."