Penny Comic Strips
12 Results for Penny
View 1 - 10 results for penny comic strips. Discover the best "Penny" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert points to the ground and says to Dogbert, "Look, a lucky penny in the street . . ." As Dilbert picks up the penny a car drives through the puddle in front of Dilbert and splashes him. Dogbert says, "A penny doesn't go as far as it used to." Dilbert is soaked.
Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.
dilbert: Uh-oh...it's never good when we get mail from the benefits department. "retire now or we'll invest your entire pension in haitian penny stocks. Dilbert: Have you noticed a change in tone lately? Wally: Little do they know Im a contrarian investor.
Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."
The boss: I forgot how many quarters are in a year. Carol: two Unless its a leap year: then you have two quarters plus a penny, The boss; Maybe I'll say that at the board meeting to sound smart. Carol: Im free.
Stinky Pete "I was jogging to work and eating my onion sandwich when I spotted a sewage spill." "So I did what anyone would do in that situation: I rolled around in it." "A penny for your thoughts." "I must insert my head into my buttocks so I can breathe."
Dogbert says, "Your stock fell a penny a share so I bough 51% of the company." Dogbert says, "I'll double my investment just by firing you." Dogbert says, "Thanks for not being totally worthless." Man says, "You're welcome."
"Here's a game card that gives you a chance to win groceries." "No thanks. Just take a penny off my bill and we'll call it even." "Um...I can't do that." "Why not? Isn't that game card worth a penny?" "We don't have a procedure." "How's that my problem?" "Look, maybe you could eat something that's worth a penny and I'll look the other way." "How about a grape? I like grapes." "It would have to be one that's been on the floor." "It tasted like victory."
Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!