Preventing From Working Comic Strips
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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I can't let you telecommute because then I wouldn't be able to manage you." Dilbert replies, "You're managing me right now, and all it's doing is preventing me from working." The Boss asks, "And your point would be . . . ?" Dilbert replies, "Just beyond your grasp."
day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.
Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.
Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.
Dilbert: And so, as you can see... Man: All of the numbers I gave you last week are wrong. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I don't like to draw attention to myself. I see that you're taking the opposite approach. How's that working for you?
Boss: Studies say your happiness depends on how well your life compares to others. So instead of giving you a raise, I'm going to show you pictures of people who were attacked by bears. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: Dang you to heck, this is working!
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."
Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"
Dogbert sits at the table writing on some cards. Dilbert asks, "What are you working on?" Dogbert replies, "I'm designing a line of cards for death occasions." Dogbert continues, "You know how sometimes you can't make it to the funeral, so you want to send a card instead . . ." Dilbert reads, "I'm sorry you're dead." Dogbert asks, "Is it too sentimental?"