Sexy Project Comic Strips

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695 Results for Sexy Project

View 1 - 10 results for sexy project comic strips. Discover the best "Sexy Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexy project, #boost career, #sound good better job, #nano tech nology, #fighting terrorists

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The Boss: I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. \it only has to sound good and not fail until I geta better job. How about a nanotechnology set cell for fighting terrorists? Dilbert: O-O-OKay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project not sexy, #transferring fnding, #arouses boss, #business school, #not covered

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The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #transfer, #honesty, #truth, #limbo cube, #sad, #flashy, #sexy

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The Boss says, "I?m glad your project was transferred to my department, Ronald." The Boss says, "Your project is flashy! It's sexy!" The Boss says, "But it's not worth funding because the revenue projections are puny." The Boss says, "Until something changes, you'll be in the limbo cube." The Boss says, "I'll trot you out whenever a customer or an executive visits." The Boss says, "You can show your sexy-flashy powerpoint slides while dreaming of being relevant." The Boss says, "If you work hard, someday you'll be totally forgotten." The Boss says, "Did you know that honesty makes people sad?"

What Phase Of The Project

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What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #insulting, #project, #questioning

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Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

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Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

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Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Project Update

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Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary

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boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Assigning Dilbert To Project

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Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

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boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week

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Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #couldn't be worse, #bad idea, #Funny, #project is bad idea, #business

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The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #charged project, #accountants, #arsenic based life forms, #natural enemy

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Accounting Dilbert says, "You charged my project for expenses that aren't mine." Finance Troll says, "Let me see that." Finance Troll says, "We accountants are arsenic-based life forms. That makes you my natural enemy." Dilbert says, "That is not logical." Finance Troll says, "Live long and phospher."