Sound Of Breaking Comic Strips
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Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering
Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.
Dilbert arrives at a woman's door carrying flowers. Floyd is still attached to Dilbert's back. The woman says, "I don't mean to sound critical on a first date, but there's a little man attached to your back." Dilbert says, "That's Floyd. He's a co-worker who survives by sharing the success of others." The woman asks, "What if you're not successful?" Dilbert replies, "He'll die. But hey, no pressure."
Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a muscular man. The large man says, "It's not easy to be a professional body builder." The man continues, "At parties, people ask what I do. I have to say 'I lift heavy things, then I put them down.' It makes me sound dumb." Dogbert asks, "How's the pay?" The man asks, "Pay?"
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just heard that light travels faster than sound." The Boss continues, "I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words." Dilbert thinks, "A little knowledge can be a ridiculous thing." The Boss thinks, "He probably hasn't heard me yet."
Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe." Dilbert continues, "According to my calculations it didn't start with a 'big bang' at all - it was more of a 'phhbwt' sound." Dilbert continues, "You may be wondering about the practical applications of the 'Little Phhbwt' theory." Dogbert replies, "I was wondering when you'll go away."
dilbert: I'm going to defy the cubicle gestapo and keep this plastic plant on my desk. Im a rebel...Im evil. My anti perspirant is breaking down! Dilbert: Sometimes a man has to take a stand. Dogbert: could he stand someplace else?
Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."
Dilbert stands behind a man with an eye patch who is working on his computer. The man says, "My theory is that a computer interface should hurt the user." The man continues, "So I designed some new sounds into our product. We've got 'sound of puking,' 'fingernails on blackboard' and 'bird hitting window.'" Dilbert looks ill. The man continues, "But suppose the user does something WRONG. Then we have the sound of a puking bird hitting a blackboard." Dilbert falls down.