Underling Comic Strips

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17 Results for Underling

View 1 - 10 results for underling comic strips. Discover the best "Underling" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #ceo needs underling, #drink industrial sludge, #risk of brain worms, #drink himself

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Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how-to, #great leader, #book, #errors in book, #disgruntled underling, #existence, #break room

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Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cold desperation, #drab, #grimy habitat, #meaningless, #pile of money, #poor persons, #rich people, #roll in money, #underling

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CEO: Uh-oh. I'm lost and I've wandered into the grimy habitat of an underling. I feel the cold desperation of your drab and meaningless life. I need to roll in money to get the smell off me. Where's the nearest pile?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depression (mental state), #work ethic, #underling, #long hours, #insane workload, #fatigue, #depression, #organ failure, #greetings, #how are you?, #psychology

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Boss: How's it going, underling? Dilbert: My long hours and insane workload are causing fatigue, depression, and organ failure. I'll probably be dead in a month. Boss: When did people stop saying "fine?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #obliviousness, #rich people, #underling, #common interest, #gold coins, #jumbo jet, #super yacht

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CEO: Oh, great. I got here too early. Now I'll need to make small talk with this underling. I don't know what to say to these people. I need to find an area of common interest. I make my own gold coins now. This one has my face on the front and the jumbo jet that carries my superyacht on the back.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board of directors, #underling, #powerpoint, #slides, #preoccupied, #day jobs, #mistresses, #bonus, #meeting, #ceo, #all in favor, #business

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CEP presents to the board of directors CEO: An underling made these powerpoint slides and I don't understand them. But it doesn't matter because all of you are too preoccupied with your day jobs and mistresses to pay attention. Who votes to give me a huge bonus just to end this meeting?" Aye Aye Aye

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #annoyance, #business trip, #humor, #pleasure, #offsite meeting, #beelzebub inn, #disgruntled underling book

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Wally says, "Where's our pointy haired boss?" Carol says, "He's at an offsite meeting to decide who to lay off." Carol says, "Don't worry. I booked the meeting at the Beelzebub Inn. No one has ever returned from there." The Boss says, "If you don't like the accommodations, next time have your own disgruntled underling book a place."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cruelty, #executives, #joking, #self deprecating joke, #tasks, #underling

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CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #working 80 hours, #per wekk, #ground breaking, #starategies, #my underlings

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I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"