Verify Comic Strips
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6 Results for Verify
View 1 - 6 results for verify comic strips. Discover the best "Verify" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 14,
1995
Tags #accomplishments, #who gets raises, #lie about achievments, #favoritism, #minimizing accomplishments, #billion dollars, #impossible, #verify, #invisible rust, #gets raise, #three people
Transcript
The Boss tells Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "Write up your accomplishments so I can decide who gets raises this year." Wally asks, "Are you saying our raises will depend on our ability to lie about our achievements?" The Boss replies as he walks away, "No, there's also favoritism." Dilbert says, "And don't forget the importance of minimizing the accomplishments of others." Dilbert sits at his desk and types, "This year I saved a billion dollars in ways which are impossible to verify." Wally types, "While the others plotted against you, I was applying an invisible rust inhibitor to your car." Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I can drop those off for you." Dilbert says, "Thanks." Dilbert asks Wally, "Have you noticed she's the only one who ever gets a raise?" Wally replies, "It's as if she has the accomplishments of three people."
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Wednesday April 07,
2010
Tags #meeting, #servers crash, #verify, #accomplishment, #awesome, #back of head, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "Our servers were about to crash, so I wrote a suite of scripts to keep them running." The Boss says, "Your accomplishments are suspiciously hard to verify." Wally says, "So, recapping what we know for sure, you're an inadequate verifier, and you can't rule out the possibility that I'm awesome."
Saturday December 22,
2007
Tags #enhance strategy, #next adjacency, #no way to verify
Transcript
The Boss: "What have you done lately to enhance our strategy into the next adjacency?" Dilbert: "I don't know what that means, so I'm going to say 'everything.'" The Boss: "He's lucky there's no way to verify that claim."
Monday February 15,
2016
Trust Yet Verify
Tags #philosophy, #philosopher, #oxymoron, #micromanaging
Transcript
Boss: I believe in the old Ronald Reagan saying that you should "trust, but verify." That's why I empower you, yet I micromanage. Alice: What the...? Boss: Don't hate me for being philosophical.
Saturday April 15,
2017
Bug In The Platform
Tags #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness, #proof
Transcript
Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.
Friday February 14,
2020
Bias For Action
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #co-workers, #business, #meeting, #prototype, #bias
Transcript
Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!