Warn You Comic Strips
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21 Results for Warn You
View 1 - 10 results for warn you comic strips. Discover the best "Warn You" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 17,
2011
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #career path, #warn you, #maximum career potential, #less embarrassing car, #ne wocmpany, #ceo, #huge nbonus, #conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.
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Monday September 26,
2011
Tags #employees, #violence, #burt nount, #started yesterday, #sneezed away, #business
Transcript
Man: Hi, my name is Burnt Nount. I started here yesterday. Alice: Sneeze coming. AAACHOOO!! I gotta warn you, they come in threes.
Wednesday May 16,
2012
Tags #meetings, #attend presentation, #authorized, #poor notes, #wasting time, #right meeting
Transcript
Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.
Wednesday October 31,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #skilled, #possessions, #vaccum, #mercy, #beg, #watch, #dog
Transcript
Dogbert asks a man with a mohawk and an eyepatch, "Why are you loading our possessions into your van?" The man replies. "Easier to vacuum." Dogbert says, "I must warn you, I'm a skilled watch dog!" Dogbert stands in the driveway and says, "I'm going to watch you until you BEG for mercy!" The man thinks, "I hate this."
Friday October 02,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #dating, #relationships, #obsessive, #personality, #slave, #love, #waiter
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a restaurant table. The woman says, "I must warn you that I have an obsessive personality." The woman continues, "If I spend a moment with a man I fall completely in love. I think of only him. I . . . I become his slave." Dilbert says, "Are you saying . . ." The woman replies, "Yes. I'm in love with our waiter."
Monday November 02,
1998
Tags #%#*!!*, #asoks ears, #curse at work, #ears fell off, #like to curse, #vulgarity, #warm up
Transcript
Ann sits in a meeting with Dilbert and Wally. Ann says, "I must warn you, I'm one of those women who like to curse at work." Ann turns to Asok and screams several obscenities. Asok's tie and hair fly back in a stiff wind. Ann says, "That was my warm up." Asok says, "My ears fell off!!" Asok looks at the conference table where an ear lays on other side of his paper.
Thursday May 12,
2005
Tags #new guy, #strong culture, #doing teask, #unimaginable, #getting suckers, #to do our work
Transcript
The New Guy" "We have a strong culture of team--work here." "While you're doing those easy tasks, I'll be off doing assignments of unimaginable diffuculty." Dilbert: "Did anyone warn you that we have a strong culture of getting suckers to do our work?"
Tuesday January 02,
2007
Tags #diet, #expect, #hysterical, #laughing, #sharp focus, #expectations, #outburst, #health
Transcript
The Boss: I should warn you that I'm on a diet and might not have the sharp focus that you've come to expect from me. Asok: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I thought of something funny totally on my own."
Friday December 05,
2008
Tags #bored, #boredom, #death & dying, #meeting, #canary, #boring meetings, #die of boredom, #before humans, #business
Transcript
The boss: I got a canary to warn us when our meetings are too boring. Canaries die of boredom before humans so... Dilbert: I guess he knew that.
Friday April 16,
2010
Tags #nose job, #homeopathy, #art department, #annoyed, #irrational, #hurt feelings, #scorpios, #horoscope, #astrologer, #mean, #insult, #snout, #dog nose
Transcript
Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"