10% Raise Comic Strips

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243 Results for 10% Raise

View 1 - 10 results for 10% raise comic strips. Discover the best "10% Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #design, #barbecues, #electricity

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Dilbert sits at his desk with drafting tools in front of him. Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This design could change the way the world barbecues. No more struggling with charcoal." Dilbert shows the paper to Dogbert and says, "This schematic shows how an electrically induced coil-like medium can heat food without charcoal or lighter fluid!" Dilbert continues, "I call it the Max-10 Energy Transfer Model." Dogbert asks, "Did the name 'Electric Stove' occur to you at any time?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #job, #sez, #raise, #bench, #outside, #project, #stupid

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Dilbert, Dogbert and a man sit on a park bench. The man says, ". . . So then I sez to my boss, 'You can just stuff this stupid project . . .'" The man continues, "Then I sez, 'Let's see YOU do this job.' And I sez, 'I should get a raise.' I gotta go." Dogbert says, "The more they sez 'I sez,' the less likely it is they really said what they sez they said."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sponsor, #swedish, #swim, #team, #expenses, #embarassing, #women's

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The Boss sits at his desk and says to Dilbert, "As you know, we're a sponsor for the Swedish women's swim team . . ." The Boss continues, "They're in town for a week, and all of the hotels are booked." The Boss asks, "Would you mind if they stayed at your house?" Dilbert looks surprised. The Boss hands Dilbert a check and says, "Naturally, we will pay all expenses and give you this $10,000 bonus." Dilbert looks at the check and thinks, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy." The Boss stands behind him holding a piece of string attached to the check. The Boss yanks the string and pulls the check out of Dilbert's hands. The Boss and two other people laugh at Dilbert. Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The embarrassing part is that it came so soon after the Swedish women's luge team prank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

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Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #stock market, #miserable, #fortune, #law of found money, #chance, #Win, #intuition, #guide, #color, #monitor, #gray 9

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Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #whacks, #knee, #patient, #crime, #society, #fault, #raise, #taxes, #feed, #poor, #stop, #nuclear, #research, #liberal, #normal, #life, #annoying, #parties

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Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #alien, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #space, #television, #leaders, #world, #world domination, #parking space, #elevator, #reckless, #prank, #translator

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A television news reporter says into her microphone, "The leaders of the world met today to consider the demands of Dogbert the Space Alien." At the United Nations, a world leader says, "All in favor of letting the alien run the world raise your hand." The caption says, "Meanwhile in the translators' booth, a reckless prank is being played." Three translators with headsets sit at a table. One translator says, "He says, 'Who wants my parking space by the elevator?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #ibm, #ram, #sparc, #cpu, #lan, #ai, #avr, #bisdn, #g, #good, #work

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A man says to Dilbert, ". . . So, either an IBM 586 with 10 meg RAM or maybe a Sparc CPU on a LAN . . ." The man continues, ". . . But with AI and AVR combined with BISDN, well, it's very G." Dilbert asks, "G?" The man replies, "Good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bungee jump, #avoidable, #danger, #weight, #bungee, #cord, #underestimate, #hill, #man

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Dilbert sees a sign that says "Bungee Jump 10 dollars." He thinks, "It's the manly thing to do." Dilbert enters the office and says, "I'd like to expose myself to avoidable danger." A man says, "Sit right down." The man says, "I need to know your weight so I can adjust the bungee cord." The man says, "Be sure you don't under-estimate your weight or else your head will hit the ground like an over-ripe cantaloupe." Dilbert answers, "Seven hundred pounds." The man wraps a bungee cord around Dilbert's body and head. He says, "Count to three and jump." Dilbert and the man stand on a hill. Dilbert says, "I didn't know you could do this on a hill." The man kicks Dilbert. Dilbert lies face-down on the hill. He says, "Today, I am a man." The man says, "For a hundred bucks I'll pull you back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #performance, #review, #process, #accomplishments, #cash, #value, #empowerment, #match, #motivational

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "It's time for your annual performance review." The Boss continues, "The process is the same as usual." The Boss continues, "Make your accomplishments fit the trendy categories on this form." Dilbert reads, "'1. Estimate the cash value of the empowerment you displayed this year. Cite examples.'" The Boss says, "Try to make your accomplishments match the raise I've already decided for you." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you just tell me what you've decided?" The Boss responds, "What - and ruin the motivational value of the process??" The Boss thinks as he walks away, "How did I get stuck with all the cynical employees?"