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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #door, #fall, #falling, #rude, #stairs

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Dilbert walks through a door and thinks, "I hate this: somebody is just far enough behind me that it would be awkward to hold the door, but rude to let it swing." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'll just pick up the pace and act like I don't notice anybody behind me." The door hits the person behind him. The person screams and falls down the stairs. Dilbert thinks, "Doors at the tops of stairs are the worst."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #human, #garlic bread, #restaurant, #no pets, #cats

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Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a hat, walk into Scaparotti's Restaurant. There is a sign in the window that says, "No pets." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just try to act human." Dilbert says to the waiter, "Two ravioli supremes and garlic bread." Dogbert adds, "And a cat . . ." Dilbert says, "That's 'catsup,' my friend would like some CATSUP." Dogbert says, "Maybe something Siamese."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #party, #act, #naturally, #scrutiny

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #talking, #world hunger, #policies, #bumper sticker, #debate

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided it's time to stop talking about world hunger and start DOING something!" Dilbert continues, "Let others debate policies. My time to act is now." Dogbert asks, "You're going to buy a smarmy bumper sticker, aren't you?" Dilbert replies, "Darn straight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elevators, #riding, #woman, #straight, #ahead, #dead, #social anxiety, #naturally, #acting

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Dilbert stands next to a woman in an elevator. Dilbert thinks, "Riding elevators is so awkward." Dilbert thinks, "Stare straight ahead . . . Don't breathe . . . Don't fidget . . . Don't blink . . . Arms hang like limp weights . . ." The woman thinks, "I think he's dead." Dilbert thinks, "Above all, act naturally."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hurt, #chiclets, #reward, #tripping, #snatcher, #purse, #theft

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park humming to themselves. A man steals an old woman's purse. She screams, "Help!! Purse snatcher!!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh . . . He's running this way." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Act like we didn't see it or we might get hurt." Dogbert trips Dilbert. The thief trips over Dilbert's body and drops the purse into Dogbert's paws. Dogbert hands the pocketbook to the woman. He says, "I assume there's some sort of reward for this." The thief fights with Dilbert. Dogbert says, "Look! I got Chiclets!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #numbers, #divisable, #instance, #boring, #sarcasm

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The caption says, "How to be a boring person." Dogbert faces the reader and says, "Our fist demonstration is called 'listing things because you can.'" Dilbert says, "I like the numbers that are divisable by two . . . For instance four . . . And ten . . . And sixteen and eight . . . And twelve . . . And, uh . . . Forty . . . And ten, or did I already say ten?" Dogbert says, "Now act confused and start over, using your fingers as if that helps." Dilbert says, "Okay, four . . . And ten . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #secrets, #Men, #dumb, #model, #hint, #boyfriend, #killer, #saturday, #woman, #dating

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The strip is titled, "The secrets of men. A guide for women." The caption says, "Women wonder why men say dumb things to start conversations." Dilbert asks a woman, "Are you a model?" The caption says, "Why can't men take a hint?" The woman replies, "No, but my boyfriend is a killer." The caption says, "Why are men so thick?" Dilbert asks, "Are you free Saturday?" The caption says, "Why are excuses useless?" The woman replies, "I have to wash my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "How about Sunday?" The caption says, "Why don't men understand the word no?" The woman says, "No no no no no no . . ." Dilbert asks, "What are you trying to say?" The caption says, "Men know why they act like that:" Dilbert and the woman look at each other. The caption says, ". . . Sometimes it works." Dilbert and the woman walk into the sunset holding hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #cerberus, #honor, #attention, #preppared, #challenge, #death, #monkeys, #winged

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Ask my secretary to schedule a meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert kneels in front of the secretary's desk and says, "Uh . . . Excuse me . . . Excuse me . . . Miss Cerberus, could a humble employee have the honor of your attention?" The secretary yells, "Are you prepared to take the challenge of death?!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this involve any winged monkeys?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #perfect, #turtleneck, #nervous, #Dogbert, #face

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Ratbert, who is wearing a sweater, asks Dogbert, "What do you think of my Chihuahua disguise?!" Dogbert replies, "It's a good start, Ratbert, but it takes more than a turtleneck to look like a Chihuahua." Ratbert opens his eyes wide and says, "How about if I make this face and act nervous?" Dogbert replies, "Perfect."