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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1989's comic on:


Tags #invention, #lost, #invisible

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Dilbert sits at his desk with his arms folded. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's your new 'stealth' cloaking invention coming along?" Dilbert walks away looking angry. Dogbert asks, "Can't find it, huh?" Dilbert replies, "Shaddup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #underpants, #bought, #house, #capitalism, #dinosaur, #case, #case studies, #idiot, #computers

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The caption says, "Dilbert special! Bob the Dinosaur will rip the underpants off guys we hate!" Bob pulls the underwear off a man. The caption says, "Case #1." A man smoking a pipe and wearing a turtleneck says, ". . . Bought my first house for 75 cents. Sold it a year later for 400,000 dollars . . ." The man screams as Bob pulls his underwear off. Bob says, "Now he drives a 'Beemer.'" The caption says, "Case #2." A man says, "It's a great movie. You'll be surprised when you find out the parakeet is the murderer." The man screams as Bob pulls off his boxer shorts. Bob says, "I love surprises!" The caption says, "Case #3." A car salesman says, "Wait here and I'll try to convince my boss to sell the car at your price." The man screams when Bob pulls off his underwear. Bob says, "He's on your side!" The caption says, "Finally . . ." Dilbert says, "Only an idiot would thing computers are confusing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaur, #massage, #masseur, #miracle, #spa, #angry, #bob, #Dogbert, #age, #client

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Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I'd like you to be the masseur for my New Age Miracle Spa." Bob replies, "Dinosaurs don't know much about massage." Dogbert says, "That's okay. Just hurt the clients as much as possible." Bob asks, "Won't they get angry?" Dogbert replies, "Bob, Bob, Bob . . . You really aren't tuned to the New Age, are you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #armchair, #foot, #time, #reach, #outlet, #cord, #hose, #grandfather, #invented, #clean

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Dogbert struggles with a vacuum cleaner. He thinks, "What idiot invented the canister vacuum cleaner?" Dogbert thinks, "I can only do about a foot at a time . . ." Dogbert pushes the vacuum cleaner and thinks, "Then I have to push this thing another foot." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "Notice the tiny wheels which are designed to roll on any surface except carpet." Dogbert holds the electrical plug and thinks, "Now I can't reach the outlet." Dogbert thinks, "Then I get hopelessly tangled in the cord and hose." Dilbert enters the room and says, "Hi, Dogbert. Did I ever tell you that my grandfater invented the canister vacuum cleaner?" Dogbert says, "Come closer." Dogbert uses the vacuum cleaner to suck Dilbert's clothes off his body. Dilbert is left wearing only his underwear. Dilbert says, "That's probably why I never mentioned it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #clyde, #canyon, #hiking, #exploring, #flight, #arrangements, #carry-on, #luggage, #overhead, #compartment

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on an airplane. Dilbert says, "We can spend the first day at Clyde Canyon hiking and exploring . . ." Dogbert growls. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Are you still mad about the flight arrangements?" Dogbert looks angry. The flight attendant says to Dilbert, "Sir, you'll have to store your carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment." Dogbert growls.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #awkward, #parties, #d'oeuvres, #included, #working, #losers, #living, #idiot

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Dilbert stands by himself with a cocktail glass in his hand. He thinks, "I feel so awkward at these office parties . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I've already walked back and forth to the hors d'oeuvres six times." Dilbert thinks, "I'll stand close to these two and hope they include me." The man and woman turn their backs to Dilbert. He thinks, "It's not working." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to find somebody who is alone." Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . . All the people standing alone look like losers." Dilbert thinks, "I'll just say something . . . What have I got to lose?" He says to the Boss, "Hi." Dilbert says, "I'm Dilbert. Waht do you do for a living?" The Boss replies, "I'm your boss, idiot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #secretary, #cerberus, #calendar, #head, #willy, #mail, #boy, #choice, #bowling

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . So, then my boss's secretary, Miss Cerberus, says she won't put me on the calendar unless I bring her the HEAD of Willy the Mail Boy." Dilbert holds out a bag with something round in it and says, "What choice did I have?" Dogbert's ears fly up in shock. Dilbert says, "I went bowling." Dogbert looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #star, #lies, #money, #lawsuits, #angry, #tabloid, #devoted, #computer, #online

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own tabloid newspaper, the 'Dogbert Star.'" Dogbert explains, "All of the stories will be sensational lies about me . . . That way I'll save money on lawsuits." Dogbert types, "An angry Dogbert denied that his ego was so big he started a tabloid devoted entirely to himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #five, #letter, #Word, #idiot, #five-letter, #will, #Crossword, #puzzle

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table doing a crossword puzzle. Dilbert says, "What's a five-letter word beginning with 'I' . . ." Dilbert continues, "That means 'an idiot who doesn't know a five-letter word for idiot that starts with "I"?'" Dogbert replies, "Idiot." Dilbert asks, "Will that fit?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #morale, #building, #experiment, #slap, #fly swatter, #feel, #better

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss stands behind him holding a fly swatter. The Boss says, "Hold still. I'm going to try a morale-building experiment." The Boss slaps Dilbert on the back of his head. The Boss walks away saying, "Thanks. I feel a lot better." Dilbert looks angry.